Life Happens in the Transitions

I haven't quite figured out how to put into words the countless things I've been processing lately. There seem to just be too many things from too many places happening at once.

Enough that I just spent 5 minutes trying to figure out how to write or explain them, concluding only that I can't. So I guess that says something in itself.

It turns out when you're the
photographer, you aren't in many
photos: this is the best I have from GC!

The thing is: they all intersect. Every piece of my life is in flux right now, and yet they are all fluidly and undeniably interconnected. My work life is chaotic as I move from General Conference into Annual Conference season... but processing these things personally have been more difficult than the countless hours at work I have spent on them.

Oh, and Annual Conferences? Lets not forget that in the middle of the ones I'm traveling to for work, is the Dakotas Annual Conference: where I will be commissioned as a provisional elder! That's right folks, I'm finally doing it: I have an appointment in the Dakotas Conference this fall!

So there's that. Not just the appointment part, but the whole "OH MY GOSH: I'M ACTUALLY FINALLY TAKING AN APPOINTMENT!!!" part. I mean this both with great excitement, and with great intimidation, and mostly with great anticipation that holds both in what I think is a well-balanced tension.

Of course, with that also comes other changes. Some are obvious: I need to buy a car. I will miss the easy access to buses and trains but will be grateful to be able to drive my groceries home instead having to walk with them! That trades off too, though: I'll no longer have access to a Whole Foods or Trader Joes. Then there's that other big thing that sticks out: right now, I practically live on the road and out of a suitcase since I travel so much for work. But as a pastor, I'll stay put. A lot. I'm REALLY looking forward to settling in one place - in my own HOME! - but also a bit intimidated by what it may feel like to no longer have a need to monitor those plane ticket prices...

But before I can get that far, I have to wrap up my other pieces of life. I'm going to miss DC, the friends I've made, and cycling!! Oh, the cycling! I have not only a great training/riding partner who lives right above me, but we have access to some of the best trail systems in the country - and weather that lets us ride for extra long seasons!!

Not that I see them much these days, since I've been (and will be) traveling for General and Annual Conferences. Which will conclude for me by a week of debriefing in NYC as my Mission Intern position with GBGM draws near its end. Which, takes me full circle and...

and I find myself thinking and feeling and confused in these circles a lot these days.

Which is why I'm grateful my neighbor and cycling partner recently asked me to go to Yoga with her.

Yep: Yoga.

Never in my life have I been interested in yoga, but something about it just felt right this week. So I went. and on Monday night, we had a theme that has stuck with me all week:

Life happens in the transitions.

If that's not my life right now, I don't know what is.

I am transitioning in every aspect of my life. With my friends, my job, my vocation, my lifestyle. All of it. Every last piece of it is changing drastically. Not just my life, but I am "transitioning."

This week, I appreciate the reminder to stop thinking about all the transitions I'm experiencing and expecting, always anticipating the next one. Instead, I'm moving forward one day at a time, not just existing in the midst of these transitions, but truly living into them.

Because when we think about it, my yoga instructor is right: life is always transitioning. and Life happens in the transitions.

Namaste.

Detoxing

Today I officially started my detox.

It did occur to me as I rolled my nauseated and exhausted self out of bed for a 5:40am bike ride that this might not be the best day to start. But then I decided I could probably find an excuse not to start every day if I looked for one. So: there’s no time like the present.

I’m not gonna lie: I think its going to be tough. Not because its impossible, but because while I’m detoxing I’m also starting a new routine of supplements that I have to take. And on days like today, when I wasn’t feeling well anyway, it seemed impossible not to be thinking about the food I could (or could not) eat. All. Day. Long.

It also doesn’t help that the day just plain started off wrong: I eat cereal for breakfast every morning!! Its a routine I’ve had for years and LOVE. I don't even eat the sugar-packed ones: I am partial to Weetabix and Puffins Peanut Butter and Honey Nut Cheerios (ok, maybe more sugar in those). Sugar-packed or not: they have some… and they’re processed, naturally.

Detox = no processed food.

This will be good for me, I remind myself.

But my rhythm was off. The oats didn’t go down well with my upset tummy so I didn’t finish them. Which means I was hungry early.

A snack? No… I didn’t really have anything at the office I could snack on. So I settled for an early lunch. Of a (delicious, actually!) salad.

The problem? Salad doesn’t have as much sustenance as I’m used to, and I ate early… so I was hungry again by mid-afternoon. I’m sure there are options out there, but today, I’m feeling whiny and hungry and sickly (and sorry for myself, clearly).

But I’ll get there. God willing, I’ll get there. Just be patient with me, I say to myself over and over again. And now I ask it of you: this might be a long two week detox… and a difficult road thereafter. So won’t you pray with and for me? I have committed to always remember in my prayers as I cry out for my own “struggle” of so many foods I can’t eat… to also remember those who have no choices. Who are hungry and struggling to find food at all.

My prayer today, then, is that my restlessness into gratefulness. I have sought answers to being unwell for a long time now: I am working on being grateful for it. And most of all… I am seeking to be ever mindful of the many blessings and privileges these “challenges” represent. With every lettuce leaf I lift, may we I be praying (we be praying together) for those who have not even that.

...and of course I’m human, and therefore also praying for my self-pitied self, that I would grow into a place of genuine contentment, honest, and coping with all of these changes in my life.

Advent Poetry

My friend Charlie has decided to create a blog for the season of Advent. It is lovely. In an attempt to allow Advent to be a place and time to slow down, he will post a new piece of poetry every day through Christmas. So far, I am enjoying what he has written. I encourage you to check it out as well: adventpoetry.blogspot.com

Safe Arrival In Chicago

I have safely landed back in Chicago.

It was a welcome hospitable greeting as a friend (thanks, Kate!) picked me up from the airport... and airport that is quite out of the way from where we live, and included a drive through the city in rush hour traffic to get me... but I have never been so happy - with all of my bags and my excitement to be home - to have a friend so generous as to pick me up, curbside.

Arrival to Evanston included a quick greet to Kim, who picked up the keys to my apartment this afternoon since the office was closed by the time I arrived. We dropped my bags on the floor and stood in my apartment a whole of 4 minutes before moving on to a place where food could be eaten... clearly my cupboards are a bit bare after being away for over 2 months.

Dinner was great. A welcome meal with friends (more joined us!) that it was GREAT to catch up with! It was also good to be back in time to see the "baby bump" forming on Amanda!!! Followed by the recognition what we were all tired but not ready to say goodbye, we landed in the home of friends that immediately felt like home again. I cannot express how GREAT it felt to be HOME! Greeted with a fresh pot of coffee and a new video camera, the laughs were without end. And as more friends came to visit (they just kept calling - "are you here yet!?!"), I could not have felt more welcome, or more loved.

A phone call from a friend I've been trying to get in touch with all week was welcome and encouraging... it is a strange thing to try to grieve with friends hundreds of miles away... and it is an encouraging thing when they seem to genuinely be handling things so incredibly well... and with grace, peace, and trust in God. I am thankful for friends like this I can learn from, grow with, and be "present" with (even from afar) if/when a deeper reality later sets in.

God has really blessed me with some amazing relationships, and tonight I am reminded of that. I am reminded as I think of how great it was to see Laura and her children this morning... to spend the morning with my mom on the way to the airport, to spend the evening with great friends in an amazing community this evening... to stay in touch via phone to hear the voice of a friend I love and miss dearly, and for the gift of technology that has allowed me to chat and send messages to so many friends tonight. I talked to 6 members of the Ride:Well Team tonight- some brief, some more extensive - but all enough to remind me of the blessings they have brought upon me.

New Hope in Kenya

There is good news from Kenya today, where after months of violence and upset in Kenya, President Mwai Kibaki and the opposition leader Raila Odinga have made a progressive step towards peace. It brings hope to their broken nation, and I can only hope for more good news...

Kenyan President Mwai Kibaki and opposition leader Raila Odinga have signed an agreement to end the country's post-election crisis.

At a ceremony in Nairobi, the two men put their signatures to a power-sharing deal brokered by ex-UN head Kofi Annan.

A coalition government comprising members of the current ruling party and opposition will now be formed.

Some 1,500 people died in political violence after Mr Odinga said he was robbed of victory in December's polls.

To read the full article, click here. Here's to more hoping there is more good news to come! May there be peace among Kenyans in the very near future...

Peace Deal in Eastern Congo

Good news today.

With the ongoing news about the terrible situation in Kenya and the never-ending bad news out of the Middle East, news today from Eastern Congo brings hope into our dark world.

A peace pact has been signed in Goma, in the eastern Democratic Republic of Congo, by the government and armed groups. From BBC News:

It aims to end months of bloody conflict in the east which has driven almost 500,000 people from their homes.

The deal offers an amnesty to Gen Nkunda and his forces but the rebels say its full implementation will be dependent on the disarming of an ethnic Hutu militia.

The different factions had said they were ready to demobilise after seeing the peace deal on Monday but then disagreements emerged.

The breakthrough came after a flurry of last-minute face-to-face contacts and telephone calls involving government ministers, the rebels and international diplomats.

Of course, this important step is far from the end, and further cooperation will be needed by others to truly end the violence in the Congo. But it is indeed a step, and an encouraging one. It means there is an end in site.. after more than 10 years of fighting and 5.4 million lives being lost, I see this as a strong sign of HOPE.

Let us continue to pray together for further successes that follow, that someday the Democratic Republic of Congo, and our world, will see peace.