Choices

Sometimes, its the "easy" days that are so incredibly difficult.

We've come nearly 1300 miles on our bikes over the last 3 weeks - that is, in 16 days of actual cycling (we've had a few days off). We've been through a lot in that time. Many of us have taken small falls, one even resulted in an ER visit and a few days off, but nothing too serious (in hindsight). We've had broken bikes, mysterious allergy problems, injuries, and sicknesses. We've been exhausted every day and grateful for those supporting us - whether from the van (Mother Falcon) or those who stop along the way to offer water or support, or the churches and communities who host us and encourage us and offer us food, hospitality, and places to stay. The long, sometimes treacherous days on the road have certainly brought us close together, and more and more each day I realize how much I need my team to make it through.

Wednesday was one of the hardest days of the tour. Our longest day yet at 111 miles, we began by climbing to the top of an 8,650-foot mountain - in 16 miles! Which meant it was one long, long, climb. In hindsight, I'd say it wasn't that bad, but I'm not sure if I'd be lying or not? Fortunately, the rest of the day did bring with it a lot of downhill (though they definitely lied when they said it was all downhill from there!), and it was great to ride with Brian for the first time and get to know him a bit better.

The fact that this was a long day is important because every thing is relative. We were excited to get up the next day and have a "short" ride - only 65 miles! The best part - it was two days in a row - today was only 70! 70 miles, by now, is an easy, short, fun and sometimes even relaxing day. See? Its important to know context, because my longest training ride before this journey was 50miles, and that was one tough (all flat) ride!

After experiencing some knee pain yesterday in the climb, I volunteered to be "sweep" today so that I would be forced to take it easy (sweep = last person riding for the day so we can all stay together, sweep carries extra tubes, tools in case of flats, etc). Fortunately, I discovered it was an absolutely PERFECT day to do so! Riding with Lisa Ralph, we took our time on this amazing route with no headwind and paced around 19-20mph to the first stop - the Texas State line! The day continued much like this, full of story-telling, question-asking, song-singing, riddle-telling great times. Really, truly, this was one of my favorite rides of the tour. It was great to ride because I wanted to ride, to enjoy the company of a friend along the way on an open (smooth) road, and to remember how much I really do like my bike, and that is party of why I signed up to do this.

Why, then, was today hard? Everything I just stated was true, so it shouldn't have been.

Unfortunately, I am guilty of thinking and analyzing. I am easily frustrated by important factors that were missing to keep the day so perfect. I found myself impatiently struggling with things beyond control of those I encountered. When 5 gallons of gatorade were spilled, for example, it was clearly not intentional, but that did not keep me from getting upset when the crew offering us support ran out of water, and had none to offer when I had run out with just over 15miles to go. Likewise, I struggled to recognize the sacrifice the support team made when they sat outside under a tree waiting for us, to encourage us a few miles out...offering ice in hopes it would melt to hydrate us. I was frustrated instead because I hadn't seen the van for 22 miles instead of the 15 I thought it would be... I could only focus on my own needs - water, food/a banana (I was hungry & cramping up!), a first aid kit for my silly finger that was bleeding all over (I cut it this morning... nothing serious, but it wouldn't stop bleeding as I continued putting pressure on it over the bike all day).

Despite the amazingness of the company that I was blessed with to make this day great, I allowed myself to be burdened by these factors working against us, which we had no control over.

This "easy" day proved to be one of the hardest yet, because I was fighting with myself. I was fighting against what I was feeling, what I was thinking, and what I wanted to be thinking and feeling. I had to fight and finish regardless of the pain, the hunger, the thirst- even the mild dehydration. I had to fight because I had to remember why I was doing this to begin with.

I'm not riding my bike because I ever dreamt of cycling across the US for fun. I'm riding because it is a tangible way I can work for awareness, seek support, and raise funds for people who don't have the liberty to make such choices. I am cycling because people in Marsibit, Kenya who are thirsty have to walk for longer than I cycled today to get water that is dirty and disease-ridden to drink. I am cycling because while I complain of cramping or sore knees or bloody fingers, they are struggling with real diseases and illnesses that they can't see a doctor for... because there are no clinics around. I am cycling because I am blessed to live a life of choice, and most of the time, if I choose to go hours without having a cold, refreshing beverage, it is a personal chioce. I am cycling because I desire for others to have that choice, too.

I hope I can remember this more, so that frustration may not overcome me, but compassion, love, purpose and intentionality will.

Recapping Ride:Well Week 1 - Part 2

Here is the second half of my promised - ridiculously long - update.

Wednesday we started sore, but I was still on a high from the previous day’s crazy adventure – though I have to admit it was a little discouraging when 15 miles in we hit a hill with a 10%grade and we’d been told it was going to be “all flat all day.” We knocked it out, though, and the rest of the day was pretty flat. Unfortunately, I paid for the previous day’s climbs, and my back wouldn’t forgive me for it. I made it through, but it was even harder than the previous day of mountains – bodies certainly can be unforgiving. I took time and care, a couple pain pills, and a good night’s rest to try and sort it out. When I woke up Thursday I still couldn’t even stand up completely straight, but I decided to give it a shot and see if I could stretch it out on the bike – there’s no shame in being in the van, I told myself, but I certainly wasn’t going to end up there without at least beginning with a strong effort in the morning.

Feeling as I did, my goal on Thursday was a mere 20 miles (or the first van stop, wherever that led me). Of course I am too stubborn for that, so I just took it easy and rode at a more mild pace for the day, and slowly but sure, we got in! It felt great to have started the day with such lack of confidence, but incredible to have fought the second day of intense heat and safely rolled into the church in Yuma, AZ. It was certainly a result of good teamwork that day – and Lyzz was our faithful leader that got us through. Couldn’t have done it without her!

Friday. Long, hot, and the team was really spread out. That made it really hard on the Mother Falcon, who was trying her best to get us shade and more water in adequate time. Breaks with the van were at 28 and 52 miles, and by the time we got half way (67miles) to the third break (78miles), I was hot, out of water, and suffering from some heat exhaustion that literally took my breath away. I had dealt with physical pain for several days previous on the trip, but this whole thing about not breathing was new to me – and scared me! So I made the decision I dreaded, and REALLY didn’t want to – we thought we had 30miles to go – so I got in the van. 5 minutes in the shade, and I felt 200% better, but since I had already confessed to having issues breathing, my teammates kind of made me make the safe decision, and I still took the ride. This was a huge disappointment, and even more so when we drove 11miles to the next water break and discovered the directions were wrong – we were then only 2 (not 17) miles from camp. I know I could have made that, but also know there were right, and better safe than sorry – heat exhaustion wasn’t something I should be taking chances with.

The coming sandstorm at the campground in Dateland, AZ made for a first for many of us R:Wers. We got all of our bikes, etc safely inside and sat outside to feel the cool wind and watch the storm roll in. It ended up missing us, but not before we were generously offered a place to stay inside by the owner of the campground. She had a lovely home, and the 5 of us girls who stayed with here were REALLY grateful for the great night’s rest we got before being up at 3am so we could leave at the first peak of dawn.

Yep, we really got up at 3am. Crazy, right? The first group of cyclists were out by 4:30am, when the sun had barely begun to rise and we could only see about 100 yards in front of us. It was cool, though (78degrees), so it was totally worth it. A smaller group of 5 of us girls – those of us who had ridden in the van at all during the week – were asked not to ride this morning, but to instead stay in the van to get shuttled the first 40miles b/c they didn’t want the group to spread out on such a long day. We weren’t excited about it, but it worked out. We finally hit the road about 6:15 and enjoyed one of the best days to ride so far. It was hot, but not nearly as hot as it had been days previous. There was an incredible gift of cloud cover on occasion, and every 20 miles or so there were actually even gas stations to stop in! Our pace was great, and by the end of the day (we got in 83 miles, those who got to start early had ridden 123), the small but mighty group of us girls were pacing around 19mph. It was a great day – so great that we were sad it ended, as we thought we were going to get in our first century ride, but (again) our directions were off, and we had 20less miles! A great surprise, but a disappointing one when we realized we would miss the extra miles we thought we would get.

Fortunately, our greeting by Desert Springs Church could not have been better – they greeted us with ice cold wet towels, cold drinks, and a crew of youth to wash and wax our filthy bikes! Everyone stayed in host homes, and the families are all incredible. By 6 my family came, and I got to spend the next 20 or so hours with them. It was a great opportunity to visit and catch up, and as always great to see the babies and how big they’re getting! Until last year, I had never made it to visit them, so it was a great blessing to get to visit for the third time in 12 months! It was a great bonus to have Lyzz join me – I love it when my worlds collide, and love that a friend on this journey has gotten a glimpse into my life outside of the Ride:Well Tour.

Sunday evening was our benefit concert at Desert Springs Church in Chandler. Sara Groves played and did an amazing job, the crowd filled the church about half way, and of course as always I cried when she sang “I saw what I saw.” Perhaps when they are more processed, I will offer further reflections on the many things going through my mind during the show. It was a big night for me with lots of thoughts running through my mind – I would have done anything to have a journal with me! I love stuff like that – when God moves us in unexpected ways in unexpected places, with unexpected people.

In hindsight, these moments are the ones that make the puzzle of life fit together so clearly, while I know that if I had planned the journey or cut the pieces myself, it would look entirely different. I am thankful for the way it is, for the way it fits, for the ways I am growing, and for this new family that is challenging and loving me in so many different ways.

All of this… and its only been one week. I can’t wait to see how the next seven unfold.

Part one of Week 1 Recap

For the third day in a row, I woke up and had to ask what day it is today. They all run together – so much happens each day, its hard to believe it has only been one week since we began riding. Yet it is also hard to believe the first week is already over and we are already in Phoenix. So basically, I live in a constant state of confusion.

Countless firsts have occurred since I last wrote. We had our first team ride on Saturday.

Sunday we had our first official day on tour, and left from a beautiful send-off in Long Beach. We had a great day and I had another first as we rode along the Pacific Coast Highway – I climbed a hill on my bike for the first time. (really – all of my training terrain was FLAT!)

Monday we rode to San Diego, en route to which I had more firsts, some better than others. Bad = my first falls (yes, plural – there were two!) of the tour. Both occurred due to bike malfunction, as my chain had decided to have an attitude problem, so when shifting gears, it sticks or sometimes just jumps off altogether. Awesome, right? When this happened as I was climbing a hill, my reaction was too slow, and I didn’t clip out quick enough to catch myself before the bike fell flat. Frustrating, for sure, but no seriously injuries, so all is well.
Good news? We also had our first mountainous climb – somewhere between 1.5 and 2 miles. I knocked it out, and it felt AMAZING!

Tuesday was mountain day. It’s a mental game, folks – and I wasn’t about to be defeated! We started strong with incredible endorphin highs from the early climbs before we hit the “real mountains.” As a result of previous day’s chain/derailer issues that had not yet been fully addressed, I decided to play it safe and not clip in. So I rode all 87 miles without clipping in, which was possible b/c a wise friend from the 08 team recommended I got dual pedals for when I may find such riding necessary. THANK YOU Blocker!
I won’t lie – the mountains were TOUGH! I had a great riding partner, though, and when I once said I was getting tired about 70 miles in, she looked and me and said, “no you’re not! Keep pedaling!” wise words. I listened. Good thing. Only 7 miles more and we found the greatest gift we could have asked for after such a day – we got to ride down the mountain for 10 miles, coasting (with hands firm on the brakes) the rest of the way to camp. I literally screamed for joy when I saw the sign at the peak – I couldn’t believe it! I made it, and with no time to spare, as the sun was surely going to set and daylight would be lost about 30 minutes later. PERFECT! I loved every minute of that ride down, even creating a lifetime memory as I hit 50.6mph as I made my way down the mountain. Absolutely Amazing. I was in disbelief I had climbed mountains only 3 days after I climbed my first hill! Encouraging friends (on the road and via texts) and prayer got me through the day, and I couldn’t have been more thankful.

More on the rest of the week soon. Its actually really fun to try writing this, to reflect and remember, to smile and take note of the details that fill our days. Great things indeed, and this will serve as a great reminder to us all down the road. I’ll finish the week when I have time later today.

Big Changes

I haven't updated in FOREVER...

Since the last time, big, big changes have taken place. I hope to update here periodically this summer (starting this weekend), so to give real updates, here's the 5cent update on things past -

First, perhaps most important - I GRADUATED! I now have a Master of Divinity Degree from Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary! Graduation date was May 15, and not a day too soon! The picture below is immediately following the graduation ceremony, with 3 of my closest friends (and Ross and Amanda's sweet baby James!) who I have spent the past 3 years with. I LOVE these three (four!) amazing people, and have been so blessed by friendships with them.
Second - I have a plan for my life! I have been accepted as a Mission Intern with The United Methodist Church! Beginning in the fall (probably mid-September), I will attend a 3-week intensive training after which I will fly abroad (to a placement site yet to be determined), where I will serve as a missionary for the next 14-18 months. Following that placement, I will return to the US, where I will serve as a missionary in a domestic placement connected to the work I was doing abroad. I am VERY excited for this opportunity, and it fulfills exactly where I feel called to be serving right now. God is GOOD, and I cannot wait to see, experience, live into and serve in this ministry that seems so very very right.

Third - The Ride:Well Tour has begun! I am in LA right now, and since Thursday afternoon have been getting to know 17 strangers I will spend the rest of my summer with. Together, we will ride our bicycles across the US (from LA to Baltimore - 3311 miles!) to raise funds and awareness for Blood:Water Mission. I LOVE the team, and we had a great short ride today (about 20 miles) along the Atlantic in Long Beach, CA - where we took our official team pics on the beach. Tomorrow morning we will depart this haven in Long Beach that has been our place of gathering and training, and begin our trek out toward Dana Point. So begins our journey of staying in new places every night, slowly making our way across the United States powered only by our legs (and lots of food and water!).
This is our team only about an hour after we finally all gathered (at a pastor's house) -I hope to update more throughout the summer, and invite you to follow along on the website. It has already been an adventure with many tales to be told, and I cannot wait to share it with you.

My new bike!

Just 2 weeks ago, I finally purchased a bike for the Ride:Well Tour, and training is back in full swing! This is my bike:Its a 2007 Fuji Professional. I bought it brand new, which means I get the perks of a "new" bike at the price of not-new bike. Its kind of like buying a brand new car that has sat in the lot for 2 years... no one wants it, right? Only with a bike, the only reason no one wanted it b/c its too short. Fortunately, so am I, making us perfect for each other! And means I got a bike out of my price range, from within my price range. YES!

The more I ride it, the more I love it (and am learning its intricacies, what needs adjusted, etc). Its been cold and rainy, so I haven't ridden much, but I have managed to ride 4 times over the past week. Its been an adventure, to say the least. I now feel like a "real" biker, as I finally got shoes and clipless pedals. Fortunately, it was a LOT easier to learn to use them than I thought, and it was a quick success! Now that I have them, I'll never go back - they're great!

As graduation is in less than 2 weeks, my "free" time is incredibly limited, so I took today off from work with sole intention to get a good ride in. I did compromise it a bit and began the day with some studying, but mid-afternoon I finally hit the road, and had a great ride! My longest ride yet at 50 miles, I feel great and definitely wasn't ready to be done, but the sun was going down so it wasn't an option. That, and I was hungry & didn't have any food with me! ha.

One concern that did come out of finally getting out on a longer ride today was the realization that my back may in fact cause problems this summer. I started having major back problems in January, and though I have been told my back will likely give me problems for the rest of my life, I have been released by my doctors to do the ride. After all, biking is one of the best forms of exercise with back problems because its so low-impact! Therefore, any problems certainly won't keep me from riding, but today I did have to stop every 10-15 miles for 5-10 minutes just to lie flat and let it rest (after which I was fine, ready to go again). I know I could do this all summer to get through the rides if I need to, but for obvious reasons I hope this isn't necessary. I would really appreciate extra prayer support that continued rides and training would strengthen it, leading to a decrease in pain, etc.

I'm more and more excited about this ride every day. 6 weeks!!!

Preparing to Ride:Well

It seems to me as if I decided quite suddenly that I am going dive in with all of my resources (physical, financial, time or otherwise) to become a cyclist. To take off on the journey of a lifetime as I prepare to ride my bicycle (which I did not even own until last week!) across the United States of America - 3172 miles in 8 weeks. Riding as many miles as 113 in a single day to make our way across, it will certainly prove to be an intense challenge unlike any I've experienced before, and yet I couldn't be more excited.

I'm excited because though this decision was unexpected by many (myself included), I have discovered I absolutely LOVE riding whenever I can. I'm excited because it is going to challenge me in diverse ways and will do so in intense and demanding ways. I am excited because my sacrifice this summer (physically and financially) are going to support people I have never met before. People who themselves are spending hours each day walking to get water that is killing them because though it is better than nothing at all, it is unsanitary and full of disease. I am excited because this is something I can do with a group of strangers (our team is 19 and I only know one other) who will soon become family, and together we will be caring for our brothers and sisters on the other side of the world. We will be working together toward doing something Gregg talked about so much on last years's tour: loving people we have never met.

While I should be spending more time wrapping up the final papers to be written before completing a Master of Divinity Degree (graduation is 18 days and counting!), this is where most of my thoughts wonder to. What will the team be like? (will it prove more difficult b/c I know how amazing last year's team was? I don't want to compare them...) Who are the people the water and sanitation projects will reach? What are they doing right now? What about the folks we encounter on the road this summer? More than asking how we may affect them, I ponder the reverse of how my life will be different as a result of meeting them. I ask not with anxiety, but with excitement. Change is never easy, but I always walk away from experiences like this changed for the better (cue For Good from the Wicked soundtrack).

As I continue to prepare for this journey in just over 6 weeks, I couldn't be filled with a greater mix of emotions. Thankfully, the most abundant and overwhelming emotion is EXCITEMENT. I know that the money will work out (I'm a ways away, but its coming slow but sure - to donate visit my Ride:Well Cyclist Profile Page!), and though it seems to be coming slowly, I think I will be prepared (enough) physically as well. Prayer support is always welcome, now and throughout the summer. I hope you'll join me on the journey, track our journey, and if we come through your town, come out to an event and say hello! We will be posting updates, blogs and journals on the Ride:Well website all summer long.

Happy Easter!

Christ is Risen! Christ is Risen, Indeed! Hallelujah!!! Hallelujah!!!

Easter - my favorite day of the year. The reason we Christians are Christians at all. The story that doesn't make any sense, the day we celebrate the resurrection of Christ. The day Christ first appeared - first to women, lest we forget! - after being crucified and brutally murdered as he hung from the cross. Christ lives, Christ overcomes death, and today we celebrate that with great praise! Hallelujah!

The mystery of it all, the fact that it makes absolutely no sense, the fact that we can only begin to understand any of it through a process of anamnesis (bringing events of the past into the present) as we recall Jesus' ministry and begin to remember what he was talking about when he said things like that he would "rebuild the temple in three days..." It is a story that God alone could tell. A story that is so ridiculous and so unimaginable and so unreal that I can't help but to believe and entrust my life to it.

For that, I am thankful, and today, we celebrate all that this encompasses. Praise be to God. Hallelujah!! Amen.

Continuing the Journey of Holy Week

Holy Thursday. A journey to the garden, a night we are called to be watchful and prayerful in preparation of what is yet to come. Tonight's service was a journey and included a journey outside to "pray in the garden" while we sang together: "Guide my feet, while I run race, for I don't want to run this race in vain."

I pray that tonight, and for the continued path on which I will travel beyond this week. I pray that as I remember vividly from my journey to Jerusalem not long ago the path on which Jesus walked and the garden in which he prayed on that night. They were so different then than now, but they are imprinted images all the same, and they shift my reality of how I am able to see and understand this story.

Holy Week is my favorite time (albeit the most difficult) of the entire church year: a week in which we are called more than any other to be attentive, worshipful, prayerful, and reflective both in our own 'gardens,' and together, in community, as we gather for several days to pray and meditate.

Our final song in worship tonight was a Taize song that keeps running through my head, a prayer I carry with me and invite you to boldly pray as well in the midst of this night of preparation...

Stay With Me.
Remain Here with Me.
Watch, and Pray.
Watch and Pray.