A Garrett-style "Retreat"

We were required to go to a retreat today as a part of our Field Education program. I must admit, I went in with sour feelings about it because the last one was a workshop- there was nothing about it that felt like a retreat! Further, I don't feel its appropriate for them to require us to go to day-long activities on what is for many of us the only day that we can have as Sabbath. As seminarians, we are often very protective of our time, and especially on a week like this one, I was far from willing to give up my much-needed Sabbath day if I could get out of it in any way.

Of course, I couldn't. Not if I want to pass the course. So we went, grudges and all. I brought my computer hoping I could at least get some work done, which might allow me to have some rest later. But of course they expected that so welcomed us with a no-computer policy. Awesome.

The first 3/4 of the retreat was not terrible, but it was far from ideal. They gave us some worksheets and asked us to reflect and write on some personal thoughts about where the questions left us. About the fruits and growing pains and failings of our personal lives, ministries, academic settings, etc. In asking us to do so, we were encouraged to be honest, as no one was going to see what we wrote... and no one would be asked to share. Then after we wrote, we were asked to get into pairs with someone we didn't know and share. All a bit confusing and backwards...

After finishing a series of these questions, we were asked to make a visual aid of our calling (and/or ministry). We knew this was coming- we had been asked to bring magazines to cut up, etc. Typically, I'm not an artsy person, but this kept me busy as I flipped through some old magazines I hadn't had a chance to look at in a while. It was surprisingly fun. Who knew- making collages is an appropriate (required) project for graduate students? I certainly could have found better use for our 2 hours of time spent making and explaining them, but overall, it was kind of fun. It was great to see how others chose to design theirs, and to see how so very many of the collages were fitting to who I know my classmates to be.

Since it'll probably sit on my table (maybe I'll put it on my fridge...) for a few days before it gets thrown out, I thought it would be appropriate to post this for others to see. Mine is mostly words that caught my attention, with only a few pictures. Even though there was no rhyme or reason or thought process as I cut out random words, I think they all seem to go together quite nicely.Note: Comments and Inquiries welcome. Such as why specific words, pictures, etc? I'm too tired to type out a full explanation of all of it tonight, but if you have any Q's, I'm happy to later!

New Hope in Kenya

There is good news from Kenya today, where after months of violence and upset in Kenya, President Mwai Kibaki and the opposition leader Raila Odinga have made a progressive step towards peace. It brings hope to their broken nation, and I can only hope for more good news...

Kenyan President Mwai Kibaki and opposition leader Raila Odinga have signed an agreement to end the country's post-election crisis.

At a ceremony in Nairobi, the two men put their signatures to a power-sharing deal brokered by ex-UN head Kofi Annan.

A coalition government comprising members of the current ruling party and opposition will now be formed.

Some 1,500 people died in political violence after Mr Odinga said he was robbed of victory in December's polls.

To read the full article, click here. Here's to more hoping there is more good news to come! May there be peace among Kenyans in the very near future...

Finding Peace in a Blind Hope

Today, I am filled with hope.

Last fall, a prospective student named Mary Ann came to visit. With a pairing of my experiences working in the Admissions office last year and my recent return from South Africa, I was asked to serve as her hostess during her stay on campus. So I obliged, and invited her to join me for the evening at a friend's house.

Long story short- she's amazing. We had some great conversations about the process of choosing a seminary, of course... but we also had the chance to talk about things that go much deeper than that. About our shared passions for Africa and the important work needing done there. We share similar insights not only theologically but practically in how we as "Westerners" should go about playing the roles we are called to in some of these ministries.

At the time, she was working to fundraise and prepare herself for a year of living and working in Kenya. As a result of the political messiness going on over there, she has now been asked by the church she was to be working with not to come. As can be imagined, this is incredibly disappointing, and has since led to frustration as she waits with great anticipation for what may be next.

There are hopeful potentials that have come up for her in the past couple of days, and she could use prayer in the next weeks (months!) as she, along with her contacts and UMVIM, work out where she will be placed. It is an exciting time, and I am pleased that God allowed for our lives to collide in the way they have that I might be able to hear her story. To, in some ways, live vicariously through it, and be able to support her. I know my short time in South Africa was one that changed and molded me into who I am, and I desire for her to answer the call of Africa that has similarly been placed on her heart. Who knows... maybe someday we'll even be able to serve together? God works in mysterious ways, and the fact that we've been in contact this long reminds me that stranger things have happened.

Please pray for Mary Ann through her discernment and for her anxiety as she searches for answers in the next couple of weeks.

An Illness befalls me Again.

Today, I am frustrated.

In the six weeks since my return from England, I have been sick three times. Three. The first, I was convinced was a bad cold that wiped me for just over a week. Then the second, I thought was a flu, and I was out for about 5 days. Now, just a week after deciding I was over, I am sick again.

After waking up yesterday not feeling well, and it only getting worse today, I decided this is unnatural and it has probably been the same strain that my body can't fight off. So I broke down and went to a doctor. Anyone who knows me, knows that takes a bit for me- especially since I don't even have a doctor here! So I called around to see where I could get in as a new patient, and finally made it to see one today.

I went. I even left class early to get there. Then he talked to me for about 5 minutes, decided I have a virus (for 6 weeks?), gave me a decongestant and bid me farewell. But not before asking me to schedule another appointment to come in for a full physical and get some blood work done, etc. Umm.... I'm pretty sure 1- a full physical isn't necessary and 2- if the blood work is necessary and related to this, shouldn't we do it now, while I'm here, rather than make multiple trips out in this freezing weather? I have no doubt the significant amount of time I spend in the cold (because I walk everywhere) plays a role in my weakening immune system... fewer trips to the doctor means fewer times I have to walk the mile (one way) in the cold... For all I know I have mono... it would explain why I'm so tired all the time, even when I sleep enough...

argh. Modern Medicine. This is why I don't often go to see doctors. If I'm not better in a couple of days, I may try to see someone else and get a "second opinion." Not because I think I'm dying or anything... but because I just don't think it possible that I would have a virus for 6 weeks that doesn't also have (at least) bacteria on top of it that needs treated (an antibiotic or something). That, and he seemed pretty distraught when he found out what my "profession" was. "Women can be priests? I don't understand" No- I explained I'm United Methodist, women can be clergy, our roles are similar, etc. He thought that was pretty suspicious, and was CLEARLY not excited about the idea. So maybe I'm biased of his opinion as a result of his biases against me... either way, I'm heading off to bed so I can get better soon.

Here's to waking up feeling 100% tomorrow. And NOT spreading whatever I have to the world I will encounter. [thanks for reading my rant. I'm done now.]

Moving from "Thorns to Thanks"

After a scary moment yesterday morning in which my computer had an “attitude problem” and shut down unexpectedly, I was glad it was short-lived and got over it a couple hours later. Clearly it is never good to lose work or have a computer crash, but as I was to preach this morning and my sermon was saved on it, it seemed only all the more important. Fortunately, I lost minimal work and was able to finish my work on the plane/train back to Chicago.

This sermon was one of “those” sermons that I struggled with. Perhaps because it is such a “touchy” topic that I think has to be approached with a gentle yet persistent spirit. “Thorns to Thanks” was the title I was given from our sermon series… so I was preaching on Paul’s thorn and his ability to not just be thankful- but to BOAST of the thorns of his life.

After being unsettled with this sermon and continuing to make changes to it into the night (and even a few this morning), I was a bit uneasy with it until I was standing to preach it. Thankfully, as I stood and prayed to share the message I had prepared, I finally found peace with it, and felt it went okay. Thanks be to God!

As a student, it is days like this that I am thankful for affirmations of my own uncertainties. As there were a lot of guests in the early service this week, I made my way around to greet a few of them, and was surprised to discover that a great deal of our visitors were clergy from out of town! None of them were even together; it just happened to be coincidental that they came on the same morning. I sure am glad I did not know this before I stood up to preach- I’m sure knowing that would only have made me more nervous in my inexperience!

The good news of this is that I had a chance to speak with a few of them and hear their stories and share a bit about what seminary looks like here in Chicago. One man in particular was really surprised to learn that I was an intern/seminarian, that he wouldn’t have guessed it since I seemed so natural and comfortable giving the sermon. While I wouldn’t agree with that, I am honored to receive such a compliment from a retired clergyperson who has been in ministry for 50 years!

I know that I have a lot of things to continue working on, and am a long way from where I want to be as a preacher, teacher, pastor or student, among other things. But today, it is good to hear positive affirmations from people like him, who went on to (unknowingly) talk positively about me behind my back to my site committee chair, of all people. As I am often guilty of being my own worst critic, it is good to be reminded that it isn’t always necessary, because I’m not the one in charge. God has taken over and as I make room for movement of the Spirit, things beyond my own control are said and done for the glory of the Kingdom.

As I remember this and move into writing a short homily for a child’s funeral (a mock-assignment for a class), I am thankful. I am thankful that just as I preached about today, my weakness and vulnerability make me stronger in Christ. Today, that struggle or weakness was in choosing words and ways of relating God’s important message to God’s people who come to hear it. After re-working this sermon several times only to preach something different when I stood up anyway, I am thankful that my own hesitation was able to serve as a vessel of invitation for God to come and take over. I pray this kind of weakness is one that will never move away from me.

Blood:Water Banquet

A good day.

I would love to write more, but as you can see, its late. The Blood:Water banquet was tonight, and it was a nice event with a great mix of music and story-telling and meeting lots of folks. Hannah seems fantastic, I wish I could have spoken with and gotten to know her a bit better! I suppose that's actually true for a lot of people... I saw and met and talked to a ton of folks, but little more than small talk. It was nice to be properly introduced to some familiar folks at an event like this one... that is, outside of the usual occasion of a concert or something at which I am attending to be the volunteer.

Lots of notable folks were in the crowd tonight... Jars of Clay played, of course (Light Gives Heat and a new song, from the documentary they did the soundtrack for). We had lovely "digestion music" over dinner to start off our night. (insert joke with Jeremy Lutito of Disappointed by Candy that you won't understand here, lol). Donald Miller was our MC, they interviewed 3 great volunteers, including David Van Buskirk, who I met on the road working for B:W last year. He's gearing up for a summer fundraising project for Blood:Water- a bike tour across the country! We talked a bit about their potential need for another person to drive a support vehicle... maybe I could do that for 2 months? How AWESOME would that be? We'll see what happens with GBGM...

Other things to note from the night: There was an extensive, powerful interview/storytelling of Fred and Milton Ochieng- the two young men from Lwala, Kenya about whom the "Hope for Lwala" documentary has been made. Its big premier is coming up in March, so after that I'll be sure to let everyone know where to find it... you NEED to hear this story and the great work they're doing!
As promised, Hanson was also there. They talked about their time in Africa and the importance of Tom's Shoes. They also played 2 songs for us... but (much to Lynn's disappointment, haha) they didn't play "mmmbop." I do have to admit- I was impressed.

I think thats it for tonight. Its really late- and I need to be rested tomorrow so I can finish up my sermon! I'm a bit sad to go... I hear wonderful things- including a baptism! - are happening at Lynn's church Sunday, and I would love to check it out! But alas, I love my church too... and I kinda have to preach... so its probably good I'll be there ;).

Andy and the Andys

I'm in Nashville, and all is great. Really. Its been great getting to chat with Lynn a bit more- and finally for the first time in person!

We went to a show at the Rutledge tonight- and it was fantastic. It seemed like Lynn knew everyone there. Seriously. Leslie Dudney opened... I guess Lynn didn't know her, haha. But she did know the rest of the performers, and I met most of them. Then Christopher Williams played, followed by "Andy and the Andys." GREAT show. The Andys were hilarious, mostly because they kept cracking themselves up with jokes about Andy, lol.

Stage intro of the Andys was great: they all came on wearing zip-up sweatshirts. Facing away from crowd, sweatshirts came off. All in white T's, they turned around together for us to see that together, their 4 shirts wrote A-N-D-Y. Priceless. Only regret- the Andys didn't play many songs, and I would have loved to have heard more of their solo stuff. mmm and meet Andy Gullahorn too. That would have been fantastic. But Andrew Peterson was FANTASTIC, both in person (before) and performing (to close night) and I can't wait to check out some of his CDs. VERY good stuff!

One final random tidbit of info: I know that a lot of "important" folks will be at this event tomorrow night- the purpose of me coming to this wonderful city. Among others, I discovered tonight that the guest list includes Hanson. No joke. Try not to be too jealous, though ;).

Winter.

I love winter. Really, I do.

I love the cold, crisp air that hits you as you walk outside. Freezing winter weather is the only time of year you can get that kind of fresh air even in the midst of a city with millions of people and too much pollution. Its beautiful and refreshing.

I love the beautiful white wintery snow that surrounds us... I love walking in it as it falls even more. Its a beautiful mystery of nature, a blessing God has given us to appreciate, marvel in, play in, take time to reflect and be peaceful in. It is glorious.

I could go on, but I think you get the point (since those are the two things people usually hate most about winter!). This year has actually felt like winter with lots of cold temperatures and snow, which is quite different from last year, in which this weather only lasted a couple of weeks.

As much as I love winter, I also sympathize with those who hate it... it definitely does seem to go on forever at times. That, and it does prohibit life from moving on- whether because the roads are too bad to be driving on or because it is too cold for anyone to safely be outside. This was the case this morning when a car wouldn't start so we did not go to the gym... it is only 3/4 of a mile, but that is a LONG walk when it is several degrees below zero (Fahrenheit) (this morning, I think it was -12 with the wind). Putting life at a standstill for more than a day or two at a time can be frustrating, to say the least.

That is why I am glad to be escaping to a different kind of winter. I'll be heading to Nashville tomorrow for a couple of days (I'll be back Saturday!) to attend an event for Blood:Water. I'm REALLY looking forward to it... and while there, I am also looking forward to the "break" in weather- where it will still be cold and rainy (maybe even some snow), but for the most part should be above freezing. Even if above freezing is only by one or two degrees... its a nearly 40 degree difference from here! I can't wait. :)

Now... back to reading... and writing my sermon for Sunday. I was hoping to finish these things before I leave in the morning, but for some reason God seems to think I should write a more intense message this week, and I'm not quite sure what to do with it. So it might take me a bit longer to figure out than originally anticipated. But hopefully it will be good for all- for me in the learning/writing process, and for the congregation that will hear the message this week.

I hope you are staying warm in this frigid weather! For those of you in warmer climates, in the midst of your summers, enjoy some extra sun rays for us! We could use them!