Everything is Double-Double!

As if I weren’t excited or surprised before, I was REALLY surprised when I got up yesterday morning and checked my email. I had a message waiting for me on Facebook from my good friend Cody. Cody and I were teammates and in the same small group on Ride:Well 09. This is the same small group I call SABR with affection, and whom I still meet with via skype at least once a month. Why let distance or the end of tour keep us from gathering? Now that I live on the other side of the world and Tyler is also considering moving overseas for missions, we find it appropriate to say, “May the sun never set on SABR!”

SABR minutes after reaching the East Coast on the '09 Ride:Well Tour. L-R Lisa, Tyler, Jen, Cody

I emailed SABR a few days ago asking when we were meeting next, so I figured this message was Cody responding with a day/time that would work for him. Was I ever wrong!  Better than a time for a skype date, Cody was emailing with dates to make sure they would work for me - he is coming to visit!!! He has talked about it since June or July of last year… but honestly, it was hard to believe it would really happen. Not because he wouldn’t want to, but because realistically it isn’t cheap, and if I got my hopes up, well, I wouldn’t want to be set up for disappointment.

No disappointment here.

The dates Cody gave me overlapped by one week with my sister’s dates - he would arrive on my birthday! So after talking to my sister to make sure she was still up for a companion for half of her time here, I quickly called Cody to confirm… unfortunately we both have jobs and are several time zones away, so I didn’t catch him. No worries, though, emails are not restricted by time zones… I hit send and went to bed, hoping for more news in the morning.

I woke this morning and was quite pleased to find an email waiting for me from Cody… its finished! The ticket is booked, and in 6 weeks’ time, my sister will be here for 2 weeks… and one week into that visit, Cody will arrive for a 2 week stay! I will have visitors for 3 solid weeks!!!

oh, sweet, sweet excitement, I dont even know how to react! And how perfect the timing! It is absolutely perfect, as these weeks fall just between my two trips to Zambia (one in April, another in May). Then Alicia and Cody will be here to entertain one another as I run Spirituality Week at the Centre - how great is that!? So they can see the centre, spend time there, I’ll probably even put them to work some, ha. They’ll also have time to meet and interact; I love it when my worlds collide! Then I’ll also have one week with each of them to hang out, catch up, etc.

The subject of Cody’s email was, “THIS IS REAL LIFE!” I can’t believe this is my life, that its really happening! I am SO excited!!! Oh, sweet, wonderful joy, this is truly incredible, and perhaps more of what I needed than I may have ever recognized!!!

Add To The Beauty

Usually when I fail to update often, it is because I dont have words to say or have been so busy I haven’t had time to post them. As of late, it seems to have been the opposite. I’ve had so many things weighing on me and demanding my attention that as they quickly run through my mind I have struggled to capture them for long enough to write them down.

Today, my friend Don posted (via Twitter) this link to a blogger’s sincere review of his new book. Unfortunately, it has not yet been released here in South Africa, so I am yet to read it myself. However, reading reflections like this one does two things for me: 1- make me more anxious to get my own copy, and 2 - make me miss the Ride:Well Tour and the way we somehow came to understand that life is to be lived with a sense of urgency in living a more full life.

This reminded me of the words of what has become one of my anthems. The song is Add To the Beauty by Sara Groves, and as we grow closer to Christmas and move into the new year, this is, I realize, what my heart and soul are crying out for: to Add to the Beauty.

Add To the Beauty

We come with beautiful secrets

We come with purposes written on our hearts, written on our souls

We come to every new morning

With possibilities only we can hold, that only we can hold

Redemption comes in strange places, small spaces

Calling out the best of who we are

And I want to add to the beauty

To tell a better story

I want to shine with the light

That's burning up inside

It comes in small inspirations

It brings redemption to life and work

To our lives and our work

It comes in loving community

It comes in helping a soul find it's worth

Redemption comes in strange places, small spaces

Calling out the best of who we are

And I want to add to the beauty

To tell a better story

I want to shine with the light

That's burning up inside

This is grace, an invitation to be beautiful

This is grace, an invitation

Redemption comes in strange places, small spaces

Calling out our best

And I want to add to the beauty

To tell a better story

I want to shine with the light

That's burning up inside

Coming "Home"

This summer, as it turns out, flew by.

I cannot begin to describe it. I have only begun to process it. There are a few things I know for sure, a lot of questions that remain heavy in the air, and even more things that I will surely continue to learn as I process over the next weeks, months, perhaps even years. This is a pattern I have been blessed with in my life. A pattern of incredible opportunities and experiences I have seized, to return from them a changed and more whole person, yet also broken with questions unresolved, relationships I yearn to dive deeper into, lifestyles I struggle to integrate into my own upon arriving home to “normal” life. As I write this, though, I realize perhaps these things only feel like brokenness, but are rather means to wholeness, occasions to be vulnerable and grow in new and unexpected ways, opportunities to grow closer to each other and more importantly to God.

This summer I rode my bicycle 3400 miles from Long Beach, California to Cape Henlopen, Delaware in an effort to provide funds and awareness for Blood:Water Mission. Together, we partnered to provide clean water projects, sanitation education, and a health clinic to the community of Marsabit, Kenya. I do not know how to describe this journey except as an incredible feat that would absolutely not have been possible without the friendship, prayers, and faithfulness of my teammates. Yet the bike ride itself is far from what has changed me.

Do not get me wrong – this was by far the most physically challenging thing I have ever put myself up against. Yet the physical challenges were not what made me want to get off of my bike on so very many days. It was the mental battle. The mental endurance, fighting against my own thoughts, my own fears, my own stubborn struggles – that is what made this journey both incredibly difficult and remarkably rewarding.

I could say that many things I learned this summer were similar to last year, that they were great reminders of lessons learned. Truth be told, though, these were more than reminders – I learned them all over again in new and unexpected ways. I was of the generosity of people across the United States – that no matter the differences we have, we have more things in common. When we allow those commonalities to come together for good, a piece of us is shared, and I know I am more whole because of the many pieces of others that are now integrated parts of who I am.

I learned of the importance of taking time to get to know people – of really getting to know people – who we may otherwise know as strangers. There were 18 other people on this team this summer, and had it not been for the Ride:Well Tour, they would likely have remained strangers to me. They are far from that now, and as I have grown to love and care for them as family, I cannot imagine my life without them. I wonder how many people pass us by in our daily lives that this could also be true for? I hope to be more intentional about allowing strangers into my life, inviting them to play a greater role than this. This is not easy, and requires intentionality. It was not easy this summer, either (in fact, it took me most of the summer to be okay with it) – but it will be worth it.

I learned of the great joy I’ve been missing out on by not taking risks. I risked a lot to attempt this ride I was not sure I could do. We took risks to do crazy things like jump off a bridge or climb up into a giant dish at the VLA even if we were afraid of heights. We risked pieces of ourselves every time we shared with one another on the team, with those who hosted us, with the many congregations who listened to us speak and share our stories. I saw no negative results of such risks. In fact, I was even surprised and blessed by the unexpected friendships that resulted from this sharing within the team. It taught me again about how much we all need each other: even those who we think we are so very different from.

I learned the many different ways that communities here can join together to make a real difference in other communities far, far away. We forged a community of cyclists to raise money and awareness for Marsabit, Kenya. Communities all along the way joined in our efforts, and are changed because of it. We have tangible stories about churches beginning new partnerships because of their joint efforts in supporting Ride:Well and Blood:Water. We met and had lunch with a homeless community who has together raised $6000 because they believe it is of utmost importance that everyone around the world has the basic things even they do: clean water. The stories of these communities making a difference are endless, and yet their stories have only just begun.

So too is this only the beginning of a new chapter of my life. This is only the beginning of a long list of things I have begun to process in the one week since I returned to the Chicago area. It is mind-boggling for me to think that only ten days ago, we rode 140 miles into the ocean. It simultaneously feels like a lifetime away, and like we began in Long Beach just yesterday. It is both incredibly difficult to come down off of the high of joy and excitement from this epic journey, and an unbelievably rich blessing to know that the people, places, and shared experiences I miss so much will continue to be a blessing for a lifetime. I greatly miss those people who were strangers to me only 9 weeks ago, and I cannot help but to get excited when I think about the incredible paths their lives are taking.

These paths remind me of one final great thing we learned this summer. I already mentioned the power and strength a community can have when they pull together to make a difference. Yet many individuals I met this summer – including but not limited to the Ride:Well Team – served as reminders that individuals do not have to wait for a large group to make a difference. Each time a teammate spoke of what brought them on this journey, of how they understood our “typical” day, of what they are learning or how God is speaking to them through this journey, I was reminded of something more. I was reminded of how important each individual that made up our community was. Our Ride:Well community could not have had the identity we did without every single person on our team. Every individual in our community contributed to our identity, our impact, and our opportunity to bring change and new life to other communities.

This emphasized for me the importance of endurance even when we think we have nothing to offer. If we are willing and open to the Spirit working in and through us, God will bring us surprise after surprise. Just like God used Moses who thought he had nothing to give, so too can (and will) God use each of us. My hope and prayer, then, is that we will not be too quick to underestimate what we are capable of, but that we will instead, “lay aside every weight and the sin that clings so closely, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith” (Hebrews 12:1-2).

Choices

Sometimes, its the "easy" days that are so incredibly difficult.

We've come nearly 1300 miles on our bikes over the last 3 weeks - that is, in 16 days of actual cycling (we've had a few days off). We've been through a lot in that time. Many of us have taken small falls, one even resulted in an ER visit and a few days off, but nothing too serious (in hindsight). We've had broken bikes, mysterious allergy problems, injuries, and sicknesses. We've been exhausted every day and grateful for those supporting us - whether from the van (Mother Falcon) or those who stop along the way to offer water or support, or the churches and communities who host us and encourage us and offer us food, hospitality, and places to stay. The long, sometimes treacherous days on the road have certainly brought us close together, and more and more each day I realize how much I need my team to make it through.

Wednesday was one of the hardest days of the tour. Our longest day yet at 111 miles, we began by climbing to the top of an 8,650-foot mountain - in 16 miles! Which meant it was one long, long, climb. In hindsight, I'd say it wasn't that bad, but I'm not sure if I'd be lying or not? Fortunately, the rest of the day did bring with it a lot of downhill (though they definitely lied when they said it was all downhill from there!), and it was great to ride with Brian for the first time and get to know him a bit better.

The fact that this was a long day is important because every thing is relative. We were excited to get up the next day and have a "short" ride - only 65 miles! The best part - it was two days in a row - today was only 70! 70 miles, by now, is an easy, short, fun and sometimes even relaxing day. See? Its important to know context, because my longest training ride before this journey was 50miles, and that was one tough (all flat) ride!

After experiencing some knee pain yesterday in the climb, I volunteered to be "sweep" today so that I would be forced to take it easy (sweep = last person riding for the day so we can all stay together, sweep carries extra tubes, tools in case of flats, etc). Fortunately, I discovered it was an absolutely PERFECT day to do so! Riding with Lisa Ralph, we took our time on this amazing route with no headwind and paced around 19-20mph to the first stop - the Texas State line! The day continued much like this, full of story-telling, question-asking, song-singing, riddle-telling great times. Really, truly, this was one of my favorite rides of the tour. It was great to ride because I wanted to ride, to enjoy the company of a friend along the way on an open (smooth) road, and to remember how much I really do like my bike, and that is party of why I signed up to do this.

Why, then, was today hard? Everything I just stated was true, so it shouldn't have been.

Unfortunately, I am guilty of thinking and analyzing. I am easily frustrated by important factors that were missing to keep the day so perfect. I found myself impatiently struggling with things beyond control of those I encountered. When 5 gallons of gatorade were spilled, for example, it was clearly not intentional, but that did not keep me from getting upset when the crew offering us support ran out of water, and had none to offer when I had run out with just over 15miles to go. Likewise, I struggled to recognize the sacrifice the support team made when they sat outside under a tree waiting for us, to encourage us a few miles out...offering ice in hopes it would melt to hydrate us. I was frustrated instead because I hadn't seen the van for 22 miles instead of the 15 I thought it would be... I could only focus on my own needs - water, food/a banana (I was hungry & cramping up!), a first aid kit for my silly finger that was bleeding all over (I cut it this morning... nothing serious, but it wouldn't stop bleeding as I continued putting pressure on it over the bike all day).

Despite the amazingness of the company that I was blessed with to make this day great, I allowed myself to be burdened by these factors working against us, which we had no control over.

This "easy" day proved to be one of the hardest yet, because I was fighting with myself. I was fighting against what I was feeling, what I was thinking, and what I wanted to be thinking and feeling. I had to fight and finish regardless of the pain, the hunger, the thirst- even the mild dehydration. I had to fight because I had to remember why I was doing this to begin with.

I'm not riding my bike because I ever dreamt of cycling across the US for fun. I'm riding because it is a tangible way I can work for awareness, seek support, and raise funds for people who don't have the liberty to make such choices. I am cycling because people in Marsibit, Kenya who are thirsty have to walk for longer than I cycled today to get water that is dirty and disease-ridden to drink. I am cycling because while I complain of cramping or sore knees or bloody fingers, they are struggling with real diseases and illnesses that they can't see a doctor for... because there are no clinics around. I am cycling because I am blessed to live a life of choice, and most of the time, if I choose to go hours without having a cold, refreshing beverage, it is a personal chioce. I am cycling because I desire for others to have that choice, too.

I hope I can remember this more, so that frustration may not overcome me, but compassion, love, purpose and intentionality will.

Recapping Ride:Well Week 1 - Part 2

Here is the second half of my promised - ridiculously long - update.

Wednesday we started sore, but I was still on a high from the previous day’s crazy adventure – though I have to admit it was a little discouraging when 15 miles in we hit a hill with a 10%grade and we’d been told it was going to be “all flat all day.” We knocked it out, though, and the rest of the day was pretty flat. Unfortunately, I paid for the previous day’s climbs, and my back wouldn’t forgive me for it. I made it through, but it was even harder than the previous day of mountains – bodies certainly can be unforgiving. I took time and care, a couple pain pills, and a good night’s rest to try and sort it out. When I woke up Thursday I still couldn’t even stand up completely straight, but I decided to give it a shot and see if I could stretch it out on the bike – there’s no shame in being in the van, I told myself, but I certainly wasn’t going to end up there without at least beginning with a strong effort in the morning.

Feeling as I did, my goal on Thursday was a mere 20 miles (or the first van stop, wherever that led me). Of course I am too stubborn for that, so I just took it easy and rode at a more mild pace for the day, and slowly but sure, we got in! It felt great to have started the day with such lack of confidence, but incredible to have fought the second day of intense heat and safely rolled into the church in Yuma, AZ. It was certainly a result of good teamwork that day – and Lyzz was our faithful leader that got us through. Couldn’t have done it without her!

Friday. Long, hot, and the team was really spread out. That made it really hard on the Mother Falcon, who was trying her best to get us shade and more water in adequate time. Breaks with the van were at 28 and 52 miles, and by the time we got half way (67miles) to the third break (78miles), I was hot, out of water, and suffering from some heat exhaustion that literally took my breath away. I had dealt with physical pain for several days previous on the trip, but this whole thing about not breathing was new to me – and scared me! So I made the decision I dreaded, and REALLY didn’t want to – we thought we had 30miles to go – so I got in the van. 5 minutes in the shade, and I felt 200% better, but since I had already confessed to having issues breathing, my teammates kind of made me make the safe decision, and I still took the ride. This was a huge disappointment, and even more so when we drove 11miles to the next water break and discovered the directions were wrong – we were then only 2 (not 17) miles from camp. I know I could have made that, but also know there were right, and better safe than sorry – heat exhaustion wasn’t something I should be taking chances with.

The coming sandstorm at the campground in Dateland, AZ made for a first for many of us R:Wers. We got all of our bikes, etc safely inside and sat outside to feel the cool wind and watch the storm roll in. It ended up missing us, but not before we were generously offered a place to stay inside by the owner of the campground. She had a lovely home, and the 5 of us girls who stayed with here were REALLY grateful for the great night’s rest we got before being up at 3am so we could leave at the first peak of dawn.

Yep, we really got up at 3am. Crazy, right? The first group of cyclists were out by 4:30am, when the sun had barely begun to rise and we could only see about 100 yards in front of us. It was cool, though (78degrees), so it was totally worth it. A smaller group of 5 of us girls – those of us who had ridden in the van at all during the week – were asked not to ride this morning, but to instead stay in the van to get shuttled the first 40miles b/c they didn’t want the group to spread out on such a long day. We weren’t excited about it, but it worked out. We finally hit the road about 6:15 and enjoyed one of the best days to ride so far. It was hot, but not nearly as hot as it had been days previous. There was an incredible gift of cloud cover on occasion, and every 20 miles or so there were actually even gas stations to stop in! Our pace was great, and by the end of the day (we got in 83 miles, those who got to start early had ridden 123), the small but mighty group of us girls were pacing around 19mph. It was a great day – so great that we were sad it ended, as we thought we were going to get in our first century ride, but (again) our directions were off, and we had 20less miles! A great surprise, but a disappointing one when we realized we would miss the extra miles we thought we would get.

Fortunately, our greeting by Desert Springs Church could not have been better – they greeted us with ice cold wet towels, cold drinks, and a crew of youth to wash and wax our filthy bikes! Everyone stayed in host homes, and the families are all incredible. By 6 my family came, and I got to spend the next 20 or so hours with them. It was a great opportunity to visit and catch up, and as always great to see the babies and how big they’re getting! Until last year, I had never made it to visit them, so it was a great blessing to get to visit for the third time in 12 months! It was a great bonus to have Lyzz join me – I love it when my worlds collide, and love that a friend on this journey has gotten a glimpse into my life outside of the Ride:Well Tour.

Sunday evening was our benefit concert at Desert Springs Church in Chandler. Sara Groves played and did an amazing job, the crowd filled the church about half way, and of course as always I cried when she sang “I saw what I saw.” Perhaps when they are more processed, I will offer further reflections on the many things going through my mind during the show. It was a big night for me with lots of thoughts running through my mind – I would have done anything to have a journal with me! I love stuff like that – when God moves us in unexpected ways in unexpected places, with unexpected people.

In hindsight, these moments are the ones that make the puzzle of life fit together so clearly, while I know that if I had planned the journey or cut the pieces myself, it would look entirely different. I am thankful for the way it is, for the way it fits, for the ways I am growing, and for this new family that is challenging and loving me in so many different ways.

All of this… and its only been one week. I can’t wait to see how the next seven unfold.

Part one of Week 1 Recap

For the third day in a row, I woke up and had to ask what day it is today. They all run together – so much happens each day, its hard to believe it has only been one week since we began riding. Yet it is also hard to believe the first week is already over and we are already in Phoenix. So basically, I live in a constant state of confusion.

Countless firsts have occurred since I last wrote. We had our first team ride on Saturday.

Sunday we had our first official day on tour, and left from a beautiful send-off in Long Beach. We had a great day and I had another first as we rode along the Pacific Coast Highway – I climbed a hill on my bike for the first time. (really – all of my training terrain was FLAT!)

Monday we rode to San Diego, en route to which I had more firsts, some better than others. Bad = my first falls (yes, plural – there were two!) of the tour. Both occurred due to bike malfunction, as my chain had decided to have an attitude problem, so when shifting gears, it sticks or sometimes just jumps off altogether. Awesome, right? When this happened as I was climbing a hill, my reaction was too slow, and I didn’t clip out quick enough to catch myself before the bike fell flat. Frustrating, for sure, but no seriously injuries, so all is well.
Good news? We also had our first mountainous climb – somewhere between 1.5 and 2 miles. I knocked it out, and it felt AMAZING!

Tuesday was mountain day. It’s a mental game, folks – and I wasn’t about to be defeated! We started strong with incredible endorphin highs from the early climbs before we hit the “real mountains.” As a result of previous day’s chain/derailer issues that had not yet been fully addressed, I decided to play it safe and not clip in. So I rode all 87 miles without clipping in, which was possible b/c a wise friend from the 08 team recommended I got dual pedals for when I may find such riding necessary. THANK YOU Blocker!
I won’t lie – the mountains were TOUGH! I had a great riding partner, though, and when I once said I was getting tired about 70 miles in, she looked and me and said, “no you’re not! Keep pedaling!” wise words. I listened. Good thing. Only 7 miles more and we found the greatest gift we could have asked for after such a day – we got to ride down the mountain for 10 miles, coasting (with hands firm on the brakes) the rest of the way to camp. I literally screamed for joy when I saw the sign at the peak – I couldn’t believe it! I made it, and with no time to spare, as the sun was surely going to set and daylight would be lost about 30 minutes later. PERFECT! I loved every minute of that ride down, even creating a lifetime memory as I hit 50.6mph as I made my way down the mountain. Absolutely Amazing. I was in disbelief I had climbed mountains only 3 days after I climbed my first hill! Encouraging friends (on the road and via texts) and prayer got me through the day, and I couldn’t have been more thankful.

More on the rest of the week soon. Its actually really fun to try writing this, to reflect and remember, to smile and take note of the details that fill our days. Great things indeed, and this will serve as a great reminder to us all down the road. I’ll finish the week when I have time later today.

Big Changes

I haven't updated in FOREVER...

Since the last time, big, big changes have taken place. I hope to update here periodically this summer (starting this weekend), so to give real updates, here's the 5cent update on things past -

First, perhaps most important - I GRADUATED! I now have a Master of Divinity Degree from Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary! Graduation date was May 15, and not a day too soon! The picture below is immediately following the graduation ceremony, with 3 of my closest friends (and Ross and Amanda's sweet baby James!) who I have spent the past 3 years with. I LOVE these three (four!) amazing people, and have been so blessed by friendships with them.
Second - I have a plan for my life! I have been accepted as a Mission Intern with The United Methodist Church! Beginning in the fall (probably mid-September), I will attend a 3-week intensive training after which I will fly abroad (to a placement site yet to be determined), where I will serve as a missionary for the next 14-18 months. Following that placement, I will return to the US, where I will serve as a missionary in a domestic placement connected to the work I was doing abroad. I am VERY excited for this opportunity, and it fulfills exactly where I feel called to be serving right now. God is GOOD, and I cannot wait to see, experience, live into and serve in this ministry that seems so very very right.

Third - The Ride:Well Tour has begun! I am in LA right now, and since Thursday afternoon have been getting to know 17 strangers I will spend the rest of my summer with. Together, we will ride our bicycles across the US (from LA to Baltimore - 3311 miles!) to raise funds and awareness for Blood:Water Mission. I LOVE the team, and we had a great short ride today (about 20 miles) along the Atlantic in Long Beach, CA - where we took our official team pics on the beach. Tomorrow morning we will depart this haven in Long Beach that has been our place of gathering and training, and begin our trek out toward Dana Point. So begins our journey of staying in new places every night, slowly making our way across the United States powered only by our legs (and lots of food and water!).
This is our team only about an hour after we finally all gathered (at a pastor's house) -I hope to update more throughout the summer, and invite you to follow along on the website. It has already been an adventure with many tales to be told, and I cannot wait to share it with you.

My new bike!

Just 2 weeks ago, I finally purchased a bike for the Ride:Well Tour, and training is back in full swing! This is my bike:Its a 2007 Fuji Professional. I bought it brand new, which means I get the perks of a "new" bike at the price of not-new bike. Its kind of like buying a brand new car that has sat in the lot for 2 years... no one wants it, right? Only with a bike, the only reason no one wanted it b/c its too short. Fortunately, so am I, making us perfect for each other! And means I got a bike out of my price range, from within my price range. YES!

The more I ride it, the more I love it (and am learning its intricacies, what needs adjusted, etc). Its been cold and rainy, so I haven't ridden much, but I have managed to ride 4 times over the past week. Its been an adventure, to say the least. I now feel like a "real" biker, as I finally got shoes and clipless pedals. Fortunately, it was a LOT easier to learn to use them than I thought, and it was a quick success! Now that I have them, I'll never go back - they're great!

As graduation is in less than 2 weeks, my "free" time is incredibly limited, so I took today off from work with sole intention to get a good ride in. I did compromise it a bit and began the day with some studying, but mid-afternoon I finally hit the road, and had a great ride! My longest ride yet at 50 miles, I feel great and definitely wasn't ready to be done, but the sun was going down so it wasn't an option. That, and I was hungry & didn't have any food with me! ha.

One concern that did come out of finally getting out on a longer ride today was the realization that my back may in fact cause problems this summer. I started having major back problems in January, and though I have been told my back will likely give me problems for the rest of my life, I have been released by my doctors to do the ride. After all, biking is one of the best forms of exercise with back problems because its so low-impact! Therefore, any problems certainly won't keep me from riding, but today I did have to stop every 10-15 miles for 5-10 minutes just to lie flat and let it rest (after which I was fine, ready to go again). I know I could do this all summer to get through the rides if I need to, but for obvious reasons I hope this isn't necessary. I would really appreciate extra prayer support that continued rides and training would strengthen it, leading to a decrease in pain, etc.

I'm more and more excited about this ride every day. 6 weeks!!!

Preparing to Ride:Well

It seems to me as if I decided quite suddenly that I am going dive in with all of my resources (physical, financial, time or otherwise) to become a cyclist. To take off on the journey of a lifetime as I prepare to ride my bicycle (which I did not even own until last week!) across the United States of America - 3172 miles in 8 weeks. Riding as many miles as 113 in a single day to make our way across, it will certainly prove to be an intense challenge unlike any I've experienced before, and yet I couldn't be more excited.

I'm excited because though this decision was unexpected by many (myself included), I have discovered I absolutely LOVE riding whenever I can. I'm excited because it is going to challenge me in diverse ways and will do so in intense and demanding ways. I am excited because my sacrifice this summer (physically and financially) are going to support people I have never met before. People who themselves are spending hours each day walking to get water that is killing them because though it is better than nothing at all, it is unsanitary and full of disease. I am excited because this is something I can do with a group of strangers (our team is 19 and I only know one other) who will soon become family, and together we will be caring for our brothers and sisters on the other side of the world. We will be working together toward doing something Gregg talked about so much on last years's tour: loving people we have never met.

While I should be spending more time wrapping up the final papers to be written before completing a Master of Divinity Degree (graduation is 18 days and counting!), this is where most of my thoughts wonder to. What will the team be like? (will it prove more difficult b/c I know how amazing last year's team was? I don't want to compare them...) Who are the people the water and sanitation projects will reach? What are they doing right now? What about the folks we encounter on the road this summer? More than asking how we may affect them, I ponder the reverse of how my life will be different as a result of meeting them. I ask not with anxiety, but with excitement. Change is never easy, but I always walk away from experiences like this changed for the better (cue For Good from the Wicked soundtrack).

As I continue to prepare for this journey in just over 6 weeks, I couldn't be filled with a greater mix of emotions. Thankfully, the most abundant and overwhelming emotion is EXCITEMENT. I know that the money will work out (I'm a ways away, but its coming slow but sure - to donate visit my Ride:Well Cyclist Profile Page!), and though it seems to be coming slowly, I think I will be prepared (enough) physically as well. Prayer support is always welcome, now and throughout the summer. I hope you'll join me on the journey, track our journey, and if we come through your town, come out to an event and say hello! We will be posting updates, blogs and journals on the Ride:Well website all summer long.

Communication is Key

Living in Chicago, it has only been recently that I've been able to start riding and training outside, as its finally starting to warm up. This week, my neighbor suggested that since she's looking to get into better shape, maybe we could ride together. I could not have been happier, as I have been actively looking for a riding partner. Its been a nice change of pace from stationary bikes or spin classes.

This afternoon, we only had about an hour to ride, but any time was better than none! So off we went...

It was a great day to ride, but it came to a quick stop only about 10 minutes in. She was leading as we came up on an intersection, and she called back that it was clear so we were going through. Then she yelled back again, I thought I heard, "Go!" - so I leaned in a bit to catch up the speed I had lost as we we approached the intersection. Unfortunately, in her cap of the story, she had yelled, "No! Stop!" - but I never heard the "stop" part... I was going about 18mph...

As soon as I realized she was stopping, I slammed on my breaks and yelled at her, and before she knew why, I was right behind her, flipping up over my handlebars. On my way down, my right hand got caught in her rear tire. It even tore off my glove, which I was glad to be wearing, for I imagine my hand would otherwise be all cut up. Immediately my hand turned several shades of black and blue, and let me tell you, it was a site to be seen! Instantly my mind flashed to the tour, and one of the first things I said was, "Susie! If I broke my hand I won't be able to train for the tour!" I panicked. I did lots of yelling, clearly in shock, and sat on the ground cupping my arm. We went over our options, and as we were only a few miles from home, decided I could suck it up and we would just ride home slowly.

After stopping home for some ice and anti-inflammatories, we headed to campus for class. A fellow student at my seminary used to be an ER surgeon, so I had her look at my wrist for peace of mind. She's confident nothing is broken and I probably haven't torn any of the muscles, etc, so that was encouraging. My upper chest is pretty sore, too; I imagine I've got some good bruising on my sternum, maybe a rib? Nothing serious, just really uncomfortable.

For a first fall, I thought this was pretty good, right? I was definitely lucky, as it could easily have been more serious. I wish it had been caught on camera; my flip had to look pretty sweet. It was definitely enough for a car nearby to stop and make sure we were ok - she looked far more afraid than I was shocked (and let me tell ya - that was a lot!). Also, I wish we'd had a camera with us, as I would love to be able to show you a picture of said wounds on hand, as it was pretty massive. By now, the ice has brought it down quite a bit, and its just a massive red (slightly) swollen blob where a blood vessel broke.

That was enough adventure for me for today. I thank God it wasn't more serious, and think I'll celebrate that by letting it 'rest' by staying inside for a bit. I'll head back to spin classes at least until the swelling goes down and I can close my hand enough to squeeze my back break again

Summer 2009 Brings Another Epic Adventure

It is past time that I make an announcement here for anyone who may read this, but may still not know.

I AM GOING ON THE RIDE:WELL 2009 BIKE TOUR - as a CYCLIST!!! I was a part of the 2008 tour and it changed my life. I unexpectedly fell in love with bikes, travel adventure, and tying these together with other things I am passionate about, such as providing clean water for people around the world.

The ride is going to be intense, challenging, and rewarding, bringing forth so many emotions, experiences, and relationships. It will last 8 weeks, during which we will cover 3172 miles (traveling from the SW coast in Santa Monica, CA to the NE coast just beyond Baltimore, MA). That is a lot of miles to be covered in not a lot of time, but we're doing it for a cause, and it will absolutely be worth it. I can't wait. and I'm scared out of my mind at the same time.

I have only just begun training for the trip, but most of the time I feel confident about it. I am also trying not to be concerned about the financial aspect. Trips such as these are expensive, and in order to keep as much of the money we raise on the road funneling directly into grassroots-based projects in Africa, each person on the team is required to raise a substantial amount of money. This year, this seems even more trying, as I am very new to cycling and am in need of a great deal of gear as well. I am confident it will work out, though, and have begun writing letters for support, as well as planning events (such as benefit concerts) to help raise the money.

I hope to update this regularly as things continue to come together. Words of support, encouragement, or advice are always welcome! For more information, please contact me directly or check out our website: www.ridewelltour.com - or you can go directly to my profile at http://ridewelltour.ning.com/profile/JenTyler. (If you are interested in supporting me financially, you can do so via the website as well.)

08 Ride:Well Reunion #1

Until now, whenever I would hear the word "reunion," I would think of one of two things: high school, or unlikely. High school is obvious, and unlikely because - honestly - how often have we been a part of circles that have vowed to stay in touch and plan a reunion, and then never did? Or maybe you did, but the group was so out of context it was awkward and forced, as the part of your lives you shared and had in common have come and gone...

That latter was something I feared a bit when the 2008 Ride:Well Tour ended. I didn't think it would happen, and that was devastating. Then when it looked like it might, I was a bit afraid that it would be awkward since we didn't have the Mother Falcon, and no one would be riding their bicycle all day, every day. Fortunately, this turned out to be as far from the truth as possible.

This past week, 15 of the 18 members of our 2008 Ride:Well Tour traveled to a neutral location: Boone, North Carolina. We stayed in beautiful mountain homes donated to us for the weekend. Homes that allowed us adventures from games we played at camp to time around a circle as we took time to update on each others' lives. We ate and slept and hiked and biked and laughed and cried together. The staple that holds this group so close: we prayed together.

Ride:Well 2009 Reunion is far beyond words I can express on a page, but I can say I am blown away by how incredible this group works together, even under differing circumstances. One teammate even said, "I'm so glad I still like you guys when we're not on bikes!" Hilarious and true!

This weekend also left me thinking 24/7 about the 2009 tour. As 1 of 2 from the 08 R:W Team going with the 09 R:W team, I began to think logistically about the tour this weekend. I need a better bike, gear, time to train and fundraise, etc. The list is endless, and I am incredible thankful for the thoughts and advice the 08 tour has been able to share with me as I prepare for this incredible journey. That, and it gave me something to look forward to when several mentioned heading to Red Oak, Texas to meet the entire 09 team. I can't wait!

A Step Back

I was a part of something last summer that was huge. It was something so much larger than myself that on days like today, something small triggers memories and how incredible that journey was sinks in a little more. It is something beyond articulation, beyond the pictures and slideshows and videos. It's even beyond the numbers or the thousands of dollars we raised.

I've seen this video a few times before, but when another rider posted it on Facebook tonight, I felt compelled to watch it again. Only this time, it left a pit in the bottom of my stomach. It left me thinking about how HUGE this was, about how this may have been the most incredible thing I have ever been a part of.

Tonight, that feels like a bigger statement than ever before. This week, I have been reminded countless times (both by my own reflections and by others) what a blessed life I lead, and how incredible it is that I have been able to do and be a part of so many different things. I absolutely love my life, and I know I am blessed to be living this life and feel called to live this life. A life of love and ministry and travel and full of opportunities to worship a God so big and so great that God makes all of the huge, incredible things of my life, seem so small...

As I sit tonight reading a book on Eschatology for a paper I need to write, I am simultaneously working on the many questions I need to answer for commissioning as an elder in The UMC (commissioning is the next step toward ordination). I am tossing around all of these things and making lists of everything I need to do... I am constantly thinking about my future and what it holds as my graduation is now only 4 months (128 days) away.

Something occured to me tonight that I have never even considered before (nor do I want to!): with every incredible and "unbeatable" experience I have so early in life, am I setting myself up for disappointments of slowing adventures in the future? Now, there are a lot of reasons I do not like that this came up. First - how devastating! But more importantly -that's nonsense! I have been able to be a part of incredible things, yes. BUT - no two have ever been alike, and each thing has brought with it incredible people and relationships that teach me new things and encourage me with new insight and passions! That, I am absolutely certain, will never change!

Besides that, I also think it is important to consider that my life will only ever be as adventurous as I allow it to be. If I wanted to stop seeking adventure, stop seeking a deeper, unique and more meaningful way to serve God, then I could. I could back down and take an "easier" path that I have no doubt my mother would prefer. But what fun is that when I know God has blessed me with the passion, energy, excitement and determination to always take the extra step!?

So I go. Sometimes, I go too much. Like now... when I've only been back in the US for 12 days, and I have only 12 days until I must be ready for my next adventure (a mission trip to Costa Rica). Sure, there are sacrifices I make to do these things. Like the fact that I'm even still up right now: there is not actually enough time to get everything done, so extensions and last-minute work have at times become the norm. (In good procrastinator style, my goal is to keep up on my work next semester - my LAST semester! - so the last few weeks are not so crazy... wish me luck!)

I suppose all of this is simply to say, "whoa!" It is good to step outside myself once in a while and reflect on this crazy life I lead. I hope I never settle for anything less than what feeds me in this way . and I cannot wait to see what is in store for my life next.

Incredible.

A Year in Review

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?

Go to England, Go to Nashville, Attend General Conference, Get a 4.0 (spring semester) in school post-high school, hitch-hike, Road-trip across the US, ride (and purchase!) a road bike, dress in full spandex and think it was normal (for biking, of course!), Visit family (and meet some new!) in Arizona, see the Grand Canyon, Donate to a political campaign, step into the ecumenical movement of the NCCC, Travel to Israel.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don't believe in "resolutions," but I always like to have a set of goal I am working towards. Last January, my goals were updated to continue living life as fully as possible, "making room for surprises and new possibilities to truly LIVE and explore the opportunities God places in front of me." I absolutely did that, and I hope that stays on my "to-do" list for years to come. Second, I wanted to keep focusing on my health in positive ways. I could have done better at this, but since all of the walking and hiking on our trip to Israel proved that I was among the most fit in the group, I must be doing ok. Always more to work on, though!

I haven't decided upon any new, specific "goals" for the new year, but I've been tossing them around and surely will post them at a later date.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Yes!! Laura (from seminary) gave birth to precious Lily in January, and Laura (from home in SD) gave birth to adorable Aeryn in July. (We'll soon know if the Bakers will give birth to little Stinker before the new year, of if it will be the first birth of the new year!!!)

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Not close to me, but close to people I am close to. Its not any easier, and I still think of them often (especially Scott Williams... and Aaron Beier).

5. What countries did you visit?

England (twice!) and Israel.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?

A Master of Divinity from Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary. and my best friend living nearby (that can't happen, but you asked...).

7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Election Day. November 4. (and with it November 5). The election. Life changing for millions, and the role I got to play in it. I will NEVER forget being in Grant Park that night.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I don't know? I believe each one leads into the next. Really. So - completing another year of school? Or perhaps the Ride:Well Tour and how much I grew from it as a result of risking so much personally to "put myself out there," be stretched, and to grow.

9. What was your biggest failure?

The word "failure" is such a harsh word, don't you think? I don't like it.
I certainly wish my communication were greater, my focus were better (especially for school), and I always always always need to work more on personal devotion time.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I was sick (cold/flu etc) for a couple months at the beginning of the year, that was a pain. Otherwise nothing seriously. (though I am thinking about having my knee looked at...)

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Plane tickets. Traveling is the best form of introspection.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Voters. With few exceptions, I was VERY impressed with how many elections turned out this year, big and small. (though few, the exceptions are important ones)

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

Relating to previous questions, some voters. Such as those who voted against Proposition 8 in California. It is depressing to see such injustice and such blatant discrimination justified in our laws.

14. Where did most of your money go?

School and related bills (rent!). Outside of bills, to traveling.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

The United Methodist Church, Blood:Water Mission, Cycling, Elections.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?

so, so so many, especially from the Ride:Well Tour. If I had to pick only one, I suppose it would be Believe by The Bravery. But I could probably list 20.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? More serious, but I do not think that means either.
ii. thinner or heavier? Heavier.
iii. richer or poorer? Poorer financially, but richer in all other ways of the word.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Spend time with close friends, been more active with causes I believe in.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Less time being upset over trivial things, less time working.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

I spent Christmas Eve morning with friends in Bethlehem, then the evening at worship with some of the same friends in Jerusalem, then traveled on all of Christmas Day. I celebrated Christmas with family on the 27th in South Dakota.

21. How will you be spending New Year's Eve?

I have no idea. Maybe home writing and catching up on work? Exciting, I know.\

22. Did you fall in love in 2008?

With ideas and friends, but not with anyone "special."

23. How many one-night stands?

Seriously? Where did this question come from? The closest I've come to that is to stand for one night to keep me awake as I read a book or write a paper in the quiet of my apartment.

24. What was your favorite TV program of just 2008?

In the spring it was still Grey's Anatomy - the only show I watched each week. I haven't even seen that since September, if that tells you anything about how much TV I watch.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

Hate is a powerful, dirty word. I would say NO.

26. What was the best book you read?

Unfortunately, I started several and finished few. Few that weren't for school, that is. Book I spent the most time with? The United Methodist Book of Discipline. A book I actually completed and loved? Anne Lamott's "Traveling Mercies"

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

2, I suppose: The Killers (thanks, Blocker!), and Matthew Perryman Jones

28. What did you want and got?

To continue traveling and embarking on new adventures, to complete another year of school, good heath and great friends. Oh, and new winter coat!!

29. What did you want but didn't get?

My student loans paid off. That would be nice.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?

That's tough. There were some great ones this year. More than the movies, I have favorite memories attached to them, but I suppose that doesn't count much for this question...

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 24, and I was exhuasted from General Conference that ended the day before! I woke up to have breakfast with a friend in Dallas (always good to see Becca!), then flew home to Chicago, where I likely crashed upon arrival. Exciting day, huh?

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

More positive feedback and support from my Conference as I continue toward ordination to do that which I feel called to, not that which they want me to do so I can "fill an empty spot," which is how it sometimes feels.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?

I wear what I can afford. Which means lots of jeans and lots of t-shirts (we got 9 free on the Ride:Well tour alone!). I also really like brown, and I wear a lot of scarves. Both for warmth, and for decoration.

34. What kept you sane?

Good friends.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Probably Obama. Not because I think he's perfect or that I will like everything he does, but because of the hope and change he represents. I am confident in his new administration that will be here very soon. But lets be honest, I also absolutely love Ellen.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

Homosexuality. and the Death Penalty. and... well... you know- all of those "hot button" issues for which I am often accused of being "liberal."

37. Who did you miss?

My great-grandmother and Jenny, may they rest in peace. Some friends around the world I wish I could see more often. Also Eliot, Ruby, Megs, Allison and a few other friends that I actually still see once in a while but have drifted from.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

Ride:WellTeamLeanne. (that can count as one since there are no spaces, right?)

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:

What it truly means/looks like to spend significant amounts of time out of my comfort zone... and how to find me in there.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

For some reason this is always difficult, so I leave you with an old song:

Confused enough to know direction,
sun eclipsed enough to shine
be still enough to finally tremble
see enough to know I'm blind
-Faith Enough, Jars of Clay

A Refreshing Ride

Today has been a considerably unproductive day. I spent much of it relaxing and listening to some Matthew Perryman Jones.

BUT.

The weather is BEAUTIFUL, and I decided to go for an evening ride before the sun disappeared over what could be the last nice day we have (that I have off, anyway). So I biked to Best Buy, where I picked up a new battery for my bike computer.

The weather was perfect. The path was amazing. And YES - short ride or not, it was my first - so I wore my Ride:Well jersey in honor of the team and all we accomplished this summer.

The freedom and joy and life I feel after going on a short ride - in town and then around the lake (just under 15 miles) - is amazing. I know I made the right choice in going through with a bike purchase. Its a new lifeline to "escape" the feeling of the city, even from within it. And its more eco-friendly than when I used to do so by going for a drive.

Amazing. Wonderful. God-filled. Life is good today.

(I just wish my papers were done before I began this week of midterms and working 40 hours...)

PS - I also learned a valuable lesson about keeping ones mouth (literally) closed while on a bike ;)

Art*Music*Justice Tour

This past Friday, I had the opportunity to attend an event with my friend and neighbor (affectionately known as "neighbs"), Susie. We are both long-time fans of musician Sara Groves, so when we heard she was coming to town, we eagerly looked into getting tickets. Only to discover this was a large ticket of five artists, also including one of my favorite songwriters, Derek Webb.

When Susie and I arrived early to get the best possible seats for the price we paid (center seats of 4th row!), our biggest question was the order the artists would play in. However, as the show began with all artists on stage and they took turns playing one or two songs of their own at a time, we were moved from engaging with the individual artists into engaging with the Tour. We were shown videos and told stories in such a way that compelled us to engage with the cause, consider ways we can further the causes with our own action, and then consider ways we can financially help the cause. No buckets were passed, but they were readily available. The whole mood of the room shifted from beginning to end. We could sense the urgency in what they were saying without being burdened by it. They took time to pray in the middle of the show. They led the way by telling their own stories, by displaying in words and emotions on stage, by showing us - whether intentionally or not - how very much this campaign meant to them.

The Art *Music *Justice Tour is a music tour - a series of concerts -of five artists who are seeking to do something more with their stage. They are using the opportunity of these 22 shows (September 19- October 26) to raise money and awareness for worth causes: Food for the Hungry and International Justice Mission.

In a very small way, I felt a connect between Sara and this tour, and Sara and her role in the Ride:Well Tour. It reminded me of Tyler, Texas. It reminded me that even the smallest community can make unimaginable differences.

This tour is going to achieve great things and provide a great show to those present while at it. If at all possible, I highly recommend you go out for it.

Growing Into Change

In light of reflecting on how the Ride:Well Tour has impacted me so much more than I anticipated, I have been thinking about how other trips have done the same... and how that has been different.

With the Ride:Well Tour, I had no idea why I was going. I didn't know the first thing about biking, I didn't know anyone going, and I wasn't entirely sure how I felt going on a cycling trip as the only non-cyclist. At the same time nothing in particular and yet everything I encountered took me away from nearly every comfort zone I knew.

Something about the Ride:Well Tour felt different, though. Maybe it was the cycling thing? Maybe it was that we were all new at the same time, as opposed to usually I'm the newbie and others are more stable? Maybe it was just me in a strange transitional phase of my life, or maybe that is how God wanted me - unprepared so that I wouldn't over-analyze everything and prevent the changes from happening (not that I've analyzed myself to have done that, of course). Whatever it was, this trip was different. And unsafe. And difficult. And wonderful. And exactly where I believe God wanted me to be.

I began to realize this week how much I have grown in significant, meaningful ways this summer, and I have struggled because I don't really know what to do with that. My perspective has shifted, my world view is changing (again), my vocational discernment is all a mess (again)... and yet, I'm content with these changes. (I just wish, as always, I knew where they were leading me! but I know that will come in time.)

This trip was different than any other because usually when I take "epic" trips, I anticipate a great change. Like the community of the R:W team, on these trips I always find amazing folks who from beginning to end are supportive and help me to reflect and meditate and process. People who do more than that... people who become my family and love me even from afar, offering words of kindness and love and affection (thank you, Pete!). China, Australia, South Africa... even England... each of these trips have affected me in ways I could not begin to anticipate, and I carry pieces of them with me in all that I do. Yet in the past this process has looked different than it did this time... perhaps because I had anticipated the growth? That would certainly make the changes a bit easier (at least theoretically) and more certainly more recognizable.

I'm still not sure what made me think the Ride:Well Tour was a good idea for me. I do know that it was right, though - and that I am thankful for it. Processing has indeed begun, and is now proceeding well. The Chicago community of which I am again a part is one that will likely help me to continue processing for days, weeks and months to come. Which seems fitting, in so many ways - that it was a strong community that has had such a strong impact on me, only to rely on another strong community to help me process it all. God intends for us to live in community with one another, and I have never felt that calling as strongly as I have over the past couple of weeks.

Safe Arrival In Chicago

I have safely landed back in Chicago.

It was a welcome hospitable greeting as a friend (thanks, Kate!) picked me up from the airport... and airport that is quite out of the way from where we live, and included a drive through the city in rush hour traffic to get me... but I have never been so happy - with all of my bags and my excitement to be home - to have a friend so generous as to pick me up, curbside.

Arrival to Evanston included a quick greet to Kim, who picked up the keys to my apartment this afternoon since the office was closed by the time I arrived. We dropped my bags on the floor and stood in my apartment a whole of 4 minutes before moving on to a place where food could be eaten... clearly my cupboards are a bit bare after being away for over 2 months.

Dinner was great. A welcome meal with friends (more joined us!) that it was GREAT to catch up with! It was also good to be back in time to see the "baby bump" forming on Amanda!!! Followed by the recognition what we were all tired but not ready to say goodbye, we landed in the home of friends that immediately felt like home again. I cannot express how GREAT it felt to be HOME! Greeted with a fresh pot of coffee and a new video camera, the laughs were without end. And as more friends came to visit (they just kept calling - "are you here yet!?!"), I could not have felt more welcome, or more loved.

A phone call from a friend I've been trying to get in touch with all week was welcome and encouraging... it is a strange thing to try to grieve with friends hundreds of miles away... and it is an encouraging thing when they seem to genuinely be handling things so incredibly well... and with grace, peace, and trust in God. I am thankful for friends like this I can learn from, grow with, and be "present" with (even from afar) if/when a deeper reality later sets in.

God has really blessed me with some amazing relationships, and tonight I am reminded of that. I am reminded as I think of how great it was to see Laura and her children this morning... to spend the morning with my mom on the way to the airport, to spend the evening with great friends in an amazing community this evening... to stay in touch via phone to hear the voice of a friend I love and miss dearly, and for the gift of technology that has allowed me to chat and send messages to so many friends tonight. I talked to 6 members of the Ride:Well Team tonight- some brief, some more extensive - but all enough to remind me of the blessings they have brought upon me.

Time for the Ones I Love

It’s a crazy and confusing thing, time. It can fly past you without you even knowing it happened, or make each second feel like a minute or hour. In the midst of joy, it celebrates with you quickly and expediently, going by so quickly you are sometimes not sure it was there to begin with. Or in the midst of pain and sorrow, it drags by, weeping with you, intensifying each and every moment, each and every breath.

This week, every day has seemed to drag by. The days move in slow motion as I reflect on where my life has led me. As I dwell on decisions I am about to make over the next several months. As I recall memories of the Ride:Well team that bring me joy, while simultaneously feeling great pain and sorrow as a result of our separation from one another. The days are long, the breaths heavy, and the tears sometimes far many more than are welcome.

Yet this week has flown by. It seems like I should still have more than a single day left to see the rest of my family, to spend time with my dear friend Laura and her beautiful family. I should not be worried about scheduling in time for things like playing that over-due tennis match with my baby sister, having breakfast with my brothers, or having lunch with a long-lost colleague who I now share a passion for biking with. I shouldn’t be pressed for time when it seems like every day this week has gone so slowly I think the growing grass could have beat me at a race for the finish.

In my attempt to get some “summer reading” in this week, I’ve been working through Anne Lamott’s “Traveling Mercies.” Something she said that has stuck with me is the importance of grief. When we allow ourselves to grieve, she says, the grief moves us away from the numb feelings that come with avoidance, and allow us to become who we truly are. Then, instead of feeling numb all the time, we move into places where we are able to have occasional moments of utter joy, “of feeling aware of each moment shining for its own momentous sake” (you should read this whole book… but this particular piece can be found on page 71).

I do not believe that my grief of the team is as severe as that which she is describing in this piece, but I do think there is validity in what she is saying. It also goes to say that we must allow ourselves to grieve – no matter how big or small – but that we must also be willing to find pockets of joy in the midst of that.

I for one am thankful for the pockets of sunshine in my life, for they have brought me great joy this week. It has been a treat to spend time with my biological family (which, for the record, has been a record-setting problem free this week!). I have also been blessed to find myself in the presence of many of the people I love most in the world outside of my family. My best friend Eliot was here on Friday afternoon, and my dear, dear, old roommate, friend, and companion Ruby just spent all day with me. Count in that I got to see my sister and Rosie both last week in DC, and I would say this has perhaps been one of the most blessed (two) weeks I have seen in quite some time! For Eliot, Ruby, Rosie and Alicia are four of the people dearest to my heart… and I have never in my life been able to see all of them in such a short span of time. Let me not forget that I technically saw the Ride:Well team in that same time AND will see my Garrett family when I arrive in Evanston on Thursday, and I am left speechless with the blessing of community – no matter how near or far – I have developed over time.

I guess that just goes to show – life is all about perspective. Today, I’m choosing to focus on the perspective that life is what you make it – and while I will continue to grieve the loss of the community of the Ride:Well Team, I am also seeking these moments of celebration as we begin to move away from it. As we continue to grow together in our new experiences as we begin to unravel what our experiences together can mean in our “real” lives now that we have made attempts at returning to them. I never have intentions of forgetting or letting go of the Tour. I can’t imagine that being possible. But I don’t want to hold on to it as something that grieves me as it already has… I want to hold onto it as something that brings me joy of great memories, the beginning of amazing friendships, and as a source of strength as I recall all that has already been endured and overcome for a greater purpose.

Coming full term with such goals will undoubtedly take time, but it sure feels good to have set a goal, to have begun to make sense of it all. To have taken the first steps toward making it a reality. The first step, of course, being to recognize and record that which I hope to gain. And second? To take action by moving from sending sappy “I miss you” Facebook notes or emails, into picking up the phone and seeing how they’re doing instead. It was good – and healing – to hear familiar voices over the lines tonight… and it made me wonder why we have ever allowed ourselves to become so lazy that technology was able to take that gift from us.

Adapting to a “New” (old) Life

Its weird being thrown back into the “real” world. Expected to continue on as if life has continued with normalcy over the past two months. For nearly everyone I encounter, it has. But for me and 17 others, the past 2 months have been transformative, life-changing, EPIC. Beyond expectations and ideas I attempted to construct about how this summer would go, I now find myself bewildered at what I just experienced. It seems that as the trip has concluded, I am only now beginning to recognize the ways it has been, could have been, and will continue to be life-altering. It also leaves me with a plethora of thoughts that I am still trying to sort out.

**We rode all the way into the ocean, with me leading in the Mother Falcon, and it was every bit as glorious as we ever imagined it would be.

**The best memories are the ones you sometimes don’t realize you’re making until the it is long over. (a shared laugh or cry or story or event)

**I actually miss sitting in a van with the same folks for 12 hours a day. It becomes refreshing to have a routine, to love people well, to ask important questions, and also the ones that start with, “Would you rather…”

**A single smile can go a long way. Some of the smiles in photographs I’ve been looking through have certainly gone further than the photographed imagined they would.

**Facial hair isn’t so bad after all…

**I want a bike.

**I miss Chicago.

**All I have talked about for the past 48 hours is the team, our adventures, and how great it all was. Yet when asked best/worst moments, I have a hard time… because I can’t find one single “best” moment (there are so many!!!) and I can’t think of a time that was bad. This is a good reminder of how blessed we have been!!!

**I was actually sad to not be making deli sandwiches for 18 people today. If anyone wants one for lunch, let me know…

**It was strange to walk into a restaurant with my parents tonight and ask for a table of 3. I’d much rather wait and get a table of 18.

**The party is always better with “The Booze” J

**I dread going to sleep at night because I know it means I have to wake up without the team beside me in the morning.

**I am thankful for the way family continues to be defined and re-defined in my life. (And for the many reminders of those who have graciously included me in their “family,” no matter how near or far they are.)

**I love people. When I graduate, I want my work to revolve around how I can better love people. My prayers is that God will show me the doorway to how I can best do that.