Saturday, February 2, 2008

A Season of Change

Today is February 2, and I can hardly believe how quickly time has passed this year!

Not only is it already February, but Ash Wednesday is only 4 days away!!! Granted, Lent begins very early this year, but I am still in disbelief that we are already there. As my site supervisor Trey said last week, "I feel like baby Jesus should still be in diapers!"

Fortunately, the peacefulness and reflective mood that the snow storm brought with it this week has helped me to move on from that, but I'm still not quite there. Maybe the Mardi Gras celebration at church tomorrow, the beginning of classes on Monday, and the Ash Wednesday service on Wednesday evening will help me to move the rest of the way- help me to transition into this new season of reflection. Maybe by Wednesday I'll be there. Ready or not, it will be ready for me.

In my misplacement this season of sensing the changing seasons, I am not yet sure what Lent will mean for me this year. In the past, it has been very important, transforming and life-giving to me in new ways. I was always more sure going into it what I was going to "sacrifice" or add to my devotional life as a step toward drawing closer to God. As of today, I do not feel as connected to such changes as I have in the past, and it is a bit disappointing. Partly this is because I'm not ready for it, but I am also aware that it has to do with the great changes I have undergone in the past year. I am in a very different place- and a very different person- than I was one year ago. For that I am thankful. Yet I am still struggling to discover more fully what exactly that means for me.

As we journey into this new season, I look forward to it with hope. I see it as a time not to be depressed and hard on ourselves, focusing only on sacrifices, but as an opportunity to seek change. All the talk we have heard recently is how the world is ready for a change. Perhaps that change needs to start with individuals. Perhaps that change needs to start with me. Here. Now. How? Only God knows, but this is as good of a time as any to explore...

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