It is a special kind of frustration that I feel when I am sick. Helpless, even to myself, I drag when I am ill. Fortunately for modern medications, my new-found virus (flu, I think) is being held off for now. But it sure made for a couple of long, unproductive days this weekend.
I wonder what it is that has made my immune system so weak as to get sick after only two weeks from the last time I caught something? Last time it was combined with jet-lag, and as such knocked me out for an entire week. I was thankful for it, though, for since I had time off from classes, I was able to take the time I needed to rest- physically, emotionally, spiritually. It was great.
This time, I don't feel so fortunate. Not only do I not have time to rest, I'm in crunch mode as a result of taking an entire week off before. Of course, it isn't just the cold I had last time, but more like a flu, bringing with it all kinds of aches and pains, a fever, severe congestion and a deep, painful cough, which in turn is giving me the wonderful "joy" of a sore throat. If I'm not better in a couple of days, I suppose I should find a doctor, for it has crossed my mind that it might be something more like Bronchitis- in which case an antibiotic might do me some good.
Its really too bad to be sick, on many levels. Not just in that whinny "I don't want to be sick again" kind of way, but in light of time and my ability to actually care for myself right now. I was perhaps even thankful for the opportunity to be under the weather last time, for it provided the opportunity I needed to rest and the excuse I was looking for not to go out into the cold, wet weather. But to do it twice would put me pretty far behind... and its too early in the semester for that!
Thats why today is different. Not only do I desperately need higher energy levels to get a ridiculous amount of work done this week (my J-term paper is due Friday!!), but I also LOVE this FREEZING cold weather we're having right now, and I would love to be out appreciating it! I almost feel guilty to say that I am enjoying this weather- a dry, windy cold with highs in negative digits (well, it did get to 0F today), with the wind chill making it "feel like" anywhere from -20 to -30F... but while it is cold and windy, it is also dry with snow on the ground and the sun shinning! Of course I wouldn't want such weather day in and out, but since I am one of very few people who does appreciate the beauty of days like this (air doesn't get any more fresh or crisp than in this kind of cold!), I would like to appreciate them when the come. On the other side, it also scares me when its this cold, and I hold up in prayer those who are homeless or without heat... it is far too cold for anyone to spend significant amounts of time outside and be able to survive in it. (Free time or not, since I'm sick I will NOT be going out in it and risking making whatever I have worse...)
Funny to think of how I'm struggling with being sick now after talking about how I was thankful for it last time, as I'm also beginning to "brew" ideas for a sermon I'm preaching in a couple of weeks on changes in our personal lives: "From Thorns to Thanks." Hmmm. Perhaps for today, I should focus more on the sermon I need to have completed by this coming weekend- a sermon based on John Wesley's "The More Excellent Way" - surely there is a more excellent way to live than allowing the flu to overcome me... right? (Perhaps I should tell my professor that... and in turn I should spend my time in a more excellent way than in writing a 30-page paper for him!!!)
Cold weather. Lots of floating viruses. Papers to be writing. Yes... the semester has officially begun!