Its strange to be back in the "real world." A friend who had been at the General Conference with me asked yesterday if I thought it had been weird to be back in Evanston, and all I could respond with was "I don't think so." But really, maybe that's it. The world around me - the world of which I am now again a part - did in fact move on while it seemed to completely stop while we were away. Now, we've returned as changed people, while many of those we encounter here seem to be unaffected by everything that went on.
All of this has helped me to realize the impact the changes (and lack thereof) have actually made in the big picture. Three days ago, you could not have told me it "doesn't matter" without me getting really upset. Still today, I know that it in fact DOES matter. Yet, it matters in a completely different way than it seems to when we are in the midst of the chaos and pain of the Conference.
Life Goes On. My ministry has NOT changed as a result of this, except that I have perhaps understood in a new way how much more important to me some issues (especially those regarding GLBT issues in the church) are than I previously realized. The General Conference has spoken and changes have been made accordingly, but WE are still the church- the language in the BOD is NOT going to get rid of us (us, meaning GLBT community AND its allies - such as myself).
Its funny to me that it has taken 3 days to come to this point. In some ways, I think its healthy and powerful... 3 days to move from the death and feelings of the end, into the realization of new life and resurrection. We may have experienced death on that floor, but we now realize that there is indeed LIFE. The resurrection has come, and while it will still take some time and healing to process all that has happened, I am at least now seeking a means and an energy to celebrate the resurrection. To celebrate the resurrection that I have realized in my mind, but am now seeking to find in my heart. I look forward to the arrival of that day.