Monday, June 23, 2008

The Ride:Well Band

Gregg Mwendwa is our African Rider (from Kenya), and he is HILARIOUS and creative! He's posting TONS of blogs over on our ride:well site, so if you haven't been there yet, check it out!

This is one of his latest creations. He didn't use the whole team, but most of us are here... with name changes and all, of course. I thought it was hilarious and creative, so he has given me permission to re-post it. You can find the original post here. Enjoy!

Disclaimer - Restarting the heart is usually not so hard and to avoid it, this is a work of fiction, any resemblance between the characters herein and real persons living or otherwise is purely coincidental.

This is the hidden side of the ridewell SHOW. When Aaron Smith was packaging this cast, little did he know that he had brought together a bunch of crazies who ride 85 miles to Roswell and drive at 45mph for 135 miles to go and sleep in Alamogordo, NM. They almost ate dinner at sunrise. The cast has shifted expectations, and everyone is worried that soon, all members may be evicted to go and chase solo career in music. The ridewell band was more like a joke in the beginning, but things got serious when Matt J. Williams was evicted because his fine bult muscles could nto help him to hold his breath for long while singing higher notes. However, I am sadden by this turn of events because he was better than Erin, who originally was considered a lead singer yet what she produces are simple croaks that cannot be considered musical at any rate (how she manages to stick in the band is simply a mystery, I guess people are afraid of her face – its has this sign “hot tears can under pressure”) but she has been given a new role anyway.

Van Boozie is the lead singer, having been voted enmasse from his album “Rhode Island” which got him a Grammy nomination (he turned down the offer on the excuse that he wanted to ride a bike across America). So far, it is not clear why the band doesn’t have an album out yet, some members of the band argue that he is only good at applying some funny cream on his noose, and stuffs some in the nostrils (it may be cream tobacco, we don’t know)

Grandpa Arrow, is the emcee. He equates to guys like Mc. Hammer and MC LARS. In his own unique way, comfortably rested on a swivel stool (he feels good not that he became a grandpa on fathers day), he calls for action and mass action. Never underestimate this guy, his energy or riding 50mph translates to a rare ability to address a 300 capacity hall without a microphone.

Dorn, ok. This guy has forced his was to the band, but he is retained because of his ability to make comic faces. He has 16 sets of glasses, some which are literally “shady”. But he is a guy to be with, he has send application to be teh bands clown.

Jean on the drums. Her strong built makes the drums weep, and insurance fees for the group equipment has been increased because of the weeping and wailing. We really don’t understand what happens to the van she drives across the desert.

Bangles is this absent minded man on the controls. It has been noticed that he likes it booming, and the band has already received a ticket from the sheriff because he boomed a “car racing” sound effects during a concert which convinced sheriff it was an over speeding truck. Sheriff has not been convinced otherwise, so the band has to pay the ticket.

Earring is the communications manager. She keeps in touch with the outside worlds and inside world as well. She has an assembly of phones with unlimited minutes. She is a busy girl, at times she has to shout, “Hold on, I gotta go pee”. She has offered to sing accapela during the concert at Dallas.

Mint was to be a stage manager, but as things have turned out, she may have to relocate or get evicted. When she auditioned for this role, she brought a dozen photos of her previous works. But this doesn’t seem to be working at all, she has issues arranging the equipment, see where she placed the guitar box!

Merge is the bartender. Her art of mixing cocktails in unmatched so far. She has this website ( where thirsty people can log on, search, vote and browse for drinks and cocktails, fortunately, this website also includes a bartender guide and cocktail forums. To this end, she may be the next World Bank – this lady makes enough money to email cocktails.

Jojo adores Tina Turner and consequently she is the messy bass guitarist. Well, it has not been well established what is the reason for her hype, but sources near her home city say that she has a litany of nephews and everywhere they go, she goes. Though she plays really well during practice sessions, the band has a couple times been caught off guard on stage when she broke the guitar wires. The doctor has recommended that she receives a dose of valium before performing.

Chiselda is still in charge of PR. She has had a couple encounters with the force of gravity, but she has not lost hope of regaining seating ability. Her status on facebook reads “asking prayers for her bum”, and truly she needs them. As you can see, her modeling agency sent her skirts to make the condition manageable.

We are waiting for the release of the first single – the ride well song.

The ridewell song©

With hearts full of love
From the pacific
Atlantic we will be
The days are weary
But the night is fairy
For Africa and America
We will…yes we will!
Rejoice – hallelujah

Every evening, the whole of me hurts
Every morning, its still another ride
The desert is hot, I get breathless
Am giving up every time I crank
Thousand miles from my comfort
I feel like I wanna go home…

You have called me to compassion
To surrender to you my character
To have courage and be selfless
To share in your suffering
I am a testament, of your faith

As the days get weary
Lord sent me comfort
When am giving up
Lord rescue me
When its frightening
Lord give me courage
We pray, we believe
Your will to be done

And when its comes to pass
May we know you
Share with the world
The power of your resurrection
May your light shine upon us
As we discover our soul
May we light up the world

Copyright – ridewell® records, 2008. No part or copy of this song may be produced, reproduced or distributed without prior permission from the mysterious “author”.

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